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6 and 7 weeks

I keep meaning to write but with so much going on I just keep losing track of time. Anyway, I wanted to capture the last two weeks, but warning, TMI alert!

Weight gained:
5lbs. Boo, but my midwife assured me it’s constipation at this point.

Workouts:
Still hardly any with the exception of walks. I really want to incorporate exercise back in but between work being insane, closing on the house, and social activities…I’m so drained!

Symptoms:
Early last week I woke up in the middle of the night to projectile vomit and spent the full day after extremely nauseous. Surprisingly it went away, and since then I sometimes feel queasy, but I thank my lucky stars there hasn’t been any more puking.

Otherwise…bleeding gums, cramps, itchy nipples, very light brown spotting (confirmed as leftover implantation bleeding), feeling full after hardly eating anything, crazy gas pains and constipation… pregnancy makes you feel *awesome*

But I will say, my skin is completely clear – not a blemish!

Food Aversions:
Pretty much everything. This is always when I realize that I am in fact still queasy because nothing sounds appealing, even when I’m starving.

Food Cravings:
Carb city! Bagels, mozzarella sticks, and toast with peanut butter.

Sleep:
For the most part, sleep has been fantastic. I’m sleeping 7-8 hours a night, and sleeping soundly. Mmm, sleep.

Miss Anything?
Deli turkey. I can’t stop thinking about having a deli turkey, provolone, shredded lettuce and mayo sandwich on a bulky hard roll. Lunch is the hardest meal of the day by far.

Fun and/or Interesting Things from the Week:
Towards the end of last week we had our first ultrasound at 6 weeks and 5 days! We saw our little nugget and his/her fetal heart rate is 135bpm! Apparently all looks good so this really has helped put our minds at ease.

Then at 7 weeks 1 day I had my first prenatal appointment with my midwife. She is so wonderful. We talked for almost 1.5 hours and she reviewed all the can and can’t dos along with questions/concerns/next steps. We did all my blood work (all good) and she confirmed my uterus has basically doubled in size.

 

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Fetal heart rate of 135bpm

Happy or moody most of the time:
While I am still so incredibly happy and blessed (and feeling lucky because I could be feeling so much worse), it seems that after 5pm my energy plummets and the more I have to do the more irritable I get. After a 12 hour day on Tuesday (when we closed) and endless running around, I was so cranky and mean to the husband – but it felt so uncontrollable. I’ve never felt so drained, mentally and physically before.

New Baby Items:
A nursery! Nothing is in it, but now that we bought a house, we have a designated nursery! I already have the theme and color scheme picked out…

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Looking Forward To:
Our 9 week ultrasound on July 21st and hearing everything is ok and then TELLING PEOPLE! My midwife seemed to think it was safe to tell people after that ultrasound (if we felt comfortable) so I think we may tell a few more people (family and friends) and then we’ll “announce” it at closer to 12 weeks.

Spoke too soon

Last night I met up with my best friend for dinner. We sat and chatted for a few hours while I ate a delicious burger and repeatedly mentioned how thankful I was that so far, I feel pretty great in this pregnancy.

Fast forward to 1am.

I woke up and the room was spinning. Vertigo and nausea to the extreme. Went downstairs and tried to eat a cracker and drink a little water. Sat for a few minutes telling myself it would pass.

Stood up, looked at the bathroom, and then very suddenly began heaving up that burger. I swear the entire thing came back up undigested.

While still nauseous, I felt a little better, but knew it would be a long time before I fell asleep. I laid on the couch and put the TV on and drifted in and out of a light sleep, always aware of the nausea.

This morning, while again feeling loads better than the few moments before I had violently thrown up, I still don’t feel right. I almost feel like I have the worst hangover of my life. Queasy yet hungry, but the idea of any food makes me dry heave. Tired with a headache. Just all around, not great.

Clearly, I spoke too soon. At just over 6 weeks this morning sickness is right on schedule.

Now the word burger, let alone the idea of the smell or taste of one, makes me want to die. Keep the meat away. Far, far, far away.

5 Weeks

On Sunday I successfully hit 5 weeks. It’s still so early, but I really want to try to post updates since I know at some point I’ll want to look back at all of this.

Weight gained:
Zero. I feel bloated and swollen already – so much so that at times I unbutton my pants, but so far no actual weight gain. It’s funny, I’m far less concerned with the weight gain than I ever thought I would be (but then it’s still early). I want to have a healthy pregnancy, and therefore I don’t plan on eating everything in sight, but at the same time – I’m growing a human and I’m going to gain weight! I’ll take growing a human any day over worrying about the damn weight gain.

Workouts:
Sadly, just a few walks. I got really anxious in the early stages of my pregnancy and took a step back from exercising (note: Google is not your friend in early pregnancy). Until I have my first ultrasound I may skip my vigorous Flywheel classes and moving my whole schedule around to get workouts in. So far I’ve been going on regular 2 mile hikes with Bentley and more than anything, I’d love to get swimming back into my weekly routine.

Symptoms:
Very mild cramping on and off since I got my positive. Last Thursday I woke up with a horrific head cold out of nowhere, and it’s still lingering around causing me to have no voice at times. I also have had an increase in headaches (seems to happen easily if I’m dehydrated or have too much sodium). Otherwise, truthfully, I feel great right now and I’m trying to take advantage of that before fatigue and morning sickness potentially hit.

Food Aversions:
None really. Sometimes things are starting to smell sort of funny or strong.

Food Cravings:
I consistently want steak with A1 sauce, sweet potatoes and corn chex with cold skim milk. This could just be me wanting these things though. It seems overall I am definitely wanting more salty/food items versus desserts which is interesting.

Sleep:
Between week 3 and 4 I was not sleeping. I had pretty bad insomnia and it was brutal. Now I am sleeping really deeply and well, with the exception of sometimes waking up with cramps or having to pee.

Miss Anything?
Coffee, oh coffee – I.miss.you. I’m still having decaf and once in a while a small (or small half caf half decaf) but man do I miss grabbing a venti blonde roast from Starbucks and the chatty energy it gave me! There’s just something so comforting about sipping on a giant coffee while working, or driving around doing errands on a Saturday morning.

Otherwise not missing too much. Once I thought about not being able to have things I craved a glass of white wine and sushi, but really I’m OK without right now.

The only other thing is I feel sort of like I’m missing is that I’m hiding a bit from certain friends and scenarios because I’m just not ready to tell the world. I miss being honest!

Fun and/or Interesting Things from the Week:
I got to have blood work done which for me was fun because it gave me confirmation my hormone levels are rising nicely. Also, since my first pre-natal appointment wasn’t originally scheduled until July 7th and I would not be getting an ultrasound done at that one, my wonderful doctor offered to set up one for me earlier on July 3rd. I think once I hear the heart beat this will all feel real.

Also, the Husband and I officially picked names – we agreed upon the boy name and the girl name – and we also decided… we aren’t telling anyone! It’s nice to feel like we have one secret together.

Happy or moody most of the time:
Mostly happy overall, but definitely moments of irritability and overreacting (compared to how I normally react). I swear I have waves of rage that seem to come out of nowhere and then minutes later I am fine and feel like it was a crazy person. I have definitely also had a few instances of laughing then crying then laughing again. Overall though, I just feel so beyond blessed, happy and excited.

New Baby Items:
Aside from the ASU onesie I used to tell the Husband, none. I think we plan on waiting until after our first ultrasound and the house closing before we get anything baby related.

Looking Forward To:
Oh my – so much! I’m trying to take it one day at a time but in no particular order just a few things I’m looking forward to:
-Hearing the baby’s heart beat (and seeing the blueberry sized baby)
-Telling the world! We aren’t telling until mid-August when I’m between 12-14 weeks so the wait is killing us
-Buying pregnancy/baby related books
-Buying maternity wear (Yes, I am actually excited for this, ha)
-Finding out the gender (Yes, we are 100% finding out. I don’t like surprises.)

 

Coffee was, and let’s be honest, still is, one of my most favorite things in the world.

On an average day I will have a cup of keurig coffee at home, a venti blonde roast from starbucks, and usually another 16 ounces of coffee from my office.

I love the smell of it, the warm happiness it always brings.

I love waking up and first thing sipping a hot mug of coffee. On sunny days, rainy days, and wintry snow days – I just love it.

I love how it reminds me of road trips.

I love the me time behind it. My first cup of coffee each morning is usually by myself. It’s quiet and peaceful.

I love the social aspect of it too. How having a cup of coffee during the day or weekend mornings with someone usually includes conversation and time to connect.

I truly, deeply, love coffee. Giving it up was so, so hard.

But it’s been worth every single second because just a few weeks ago I started growing what is already one of my most favorite things in the world. And keeping that someone healthy and growing is more important to me than my coffee addiction.

Yes. Yes, I am.

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God willing, Baby Pursuit of Happiness…expected February 2015*. :)

*I know it’s extremely early. If you know me IRL or on social media, please do not post about this. We haven’t told many people yet but more than anything I need to talk about it. The process to get “here”. The fears, anxieties, and overwhelming feeling of happiness. I need an outlet. So while the rest of the world still won’t know for a bit of time, this place will. And if God forbid, it doesn’t work out this time, I know this will be a place I’ll turn to.

 

 

Home

Whelp, it’s been quite a crazy few weeks. I don’t even remember when or what I last wrote.

The past few weekends since STT have been so wonderful, with much less travel. The Husband and I spent the majority of those weekends (aside from a few friends and family dinners) house hunting. I created a crazy little spreadsheet of course, with every house in our price range available in the area we wanted, along with all the various information (lot size, sq ft., bedrooms, bathrooms, etc.) and we mapped out the open houses and went with our realtor to others. We made sure to get pre-approved so if we did make an offer, it would be taken seriously.

After walking through about 15 houses total, I felt pretty disappointed. Nothing looked like the pictures. Everything was a fixer upper (to the extreme). A few houses smelled, I’m talking smelled like someone died in there. (One of my house notes is actually “someone definitely died on this god-awful green carpet.”)

After seeing a house that we really thought we would love, but quickly realized it would need a good 75+k in renovations and updates, we went off to see a house on a street that both the Husband and I continuously drove down and prayed for a house to come on the market. In fact, there was one house on that street right when we started looking but it sold in 1 day!

You would think we would have been more excited to go see it, but it was listed almost at the top of our price range (well what we wanted to spend to be able to put 10% down), and we just assumed it would still need a whole host of updates much like the others. Plus it had a pool. (Many people see that as a positive – I feared the liability, kids, Bentley and of course maintenance.)

But see, we walked into the house and I just knew. Finally. A house that felt like home.

You walk into a mud room, and then into this big beautiful open living room, filled with windows. It’s an old colonial from the 1920’s, since updated, but still has a lot of that New England Charm. It had a beautiful dining room area, completely open to the living room and a small, semi updated kitchen. There’s a full bathroom, laundry room and a 3 season porch behind the kitchen area – overlooking the gorgeous pool and bonus, there is actually a small yard next to the pool, and all of the yard is fenced in for Bentley.

The upstairs was even better than I expected. 3 beautiful bedrooms with polished hard woods, crown molding, and so many windows. A large full bath shared among the floor (not ideal, but with a full bath downstairs, it’s better than when I grew up with 1 bathroom and 3 women). Then in the guest/office room (or what I envision it to be) is a stair case leading up to a semi-finished loft (white wood panel walls, but with electric heat and otherwise finished). They used it as a bedroom (it has a second egress) and nursery area and it could easily be used as a guest room, a play room, or hell, a dressing room for now. Plus, I hadn’t realized it, but at the very end we walked downstairs into a half-finished basement – set up for a den like area including a bar. So much living space!

And we just knew. It was the house.

So the following night, this past Friday, we made an offer. We hoped it was a good enough offer, one that would stop them from holding their first open house that Sunday, but one that would be good for us too, as we didn’t want to pay a dime in closing costs (which seem to run about $6k). We did a little negotiating over the longest hour of my life, and finally we still came in under the listing price, and with them fully covering all closing costs. Both parties agreed and both parties signed.

I can’t believe that right now, we are almost homeowners.

The inspection is this Thursday. I am not too worried, since we had the Husband’s dad who is a builder walk through with us – and he checked in on the electrical, foundation, and so on but of course there could be lead and other unknown issues. I just pray that whatever they are, they aren’t big enough to lose the house over.

And if it all goes well, our purchase and sales is on Tuesday the 10th and closing is set for July 8th. Holy hell, it’s like 5 weeks away. Time to spend days gathering and supplying countless amounts of paperwork. In the matter of 5 weeks we will be putting a full 10% of the agreed price down – a huge amount of money (vomit) – but it’s totally worth it.

I just want to get to the point where we know it’s ours. When I can really start planning the furniture layout, the colors, and everything we need to do before moving in without having that worry in the back of my mind that something could go awry. When I can share some pictures!

I just have this underlying feeling of this is the right place and that this is our house. I just keep telling everyone…pool parties in August! (I’m actually super excited about the pool now!) :)

TWW – BFN

It’s been so long since I have been able to write.

I had the most amazing, most relaxing, most wonderful week in paradise with all the girls on my Mom’s side.

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I came home content, content with life, not having any crazy fitness goals right now, just focusing on having great days and enjoying every day.

Right before my trip my Husband and I made a decision. For some time now, I’d say since December or so we’ve talked seriously about wanting a family. But we kept thinking ok now isn’t the perfect time because so and so is getting married, or this or that is happening, or we have to do that. But right before going to STT we both realized, it’s the perfect time for us. For us emotionally, financially, and job-wise. Sure we may have to alter some social plans but we both are ready and we both want to take this step.

So I got so excited, went out and got an ovulation kit to start to understand my body a little more and we thought, let’s get trying. Quickly I realized though, my ovulation time was while in STT (almost comical, I would be fertile at earliest the Saturday there and at latest the end of the week there). So we didn’t think anything of it really, and decided to try the month later and just have fun until then.

Well I came home and sadly he got called into work for that full Saturday I got home. I actually had a great day though – I relaxed the full day and caught up on shows and played with Bentley who I had missed so, so, so much. On Sunday I decided, hell I’ll take an LH test (I got the cheapo ones from CVS) and I got a positive. So we had a fun afternoon in bed, pretty relaxed and then headed to dinner with his family for Mother’s day.

See I trusted the test strips more than my gut. My gut knew, with only a week until my period it was highly unlikely I was ovulating or about to. Also without going into TMI, I get some clues when I ovulate, and I got those clues while in STT. But then I got caught up in it and then began the “TWW” or two-week-wait.

Long story short, three negative pregnancy tests later (umm hello it would have been too early anyway), hopes for morning sickness and amidst house-hunting and fantasizing about our family and what not yesterday I got my period. It wasn’t until I was sobbing in the car on the way home that I realized how much hope I had this month. PMS hormones and caffeine withdrawal (I had dropped from my venti blonde roast x3 a day to just 8 ounces to be safe) probably didn’t help my mental state. I was a complete and utter mess. At least the Husband was far more sympathetic than I expected (I think he was actually sad too) and was helpful in keeping a positive mindset around it all.

Today I feel a bit better. It’s a fresh month. I can spend this month eating healthy, working out, taking pre-natals, and overall really starting to prep my body. When my period ends, we’ll just have to have more fun trying this month (i.e. every other day through the month, ha!) The truth is, we’re young, healthy, I’ve been off birth control for over a year now, I have regular periods, and we’re just starting to try so it’s fun and exciting in so many ways. I mean this is it, after years and years of “don’t get pregnant don’t get pregnant” we are officially trying.

It’s so easy to get excited about the end goal, but this time, I really want to enjoy the process. Every second of it.

Last week Theexsaffa mentioned the phrase, “what you put in is what you’ll get out” in one of his comments on my posts. It immediately reminded me of when I read Malcom Gladwell’s Outliers. It’s been a few years but I remember how a section of the book talked about how innate ability is overrated. Many times the people who are the best at what they do, who are true “masters” become so after roughly 10,000 hours of working towards it. The whole “overnight sensation” / “innate genius” thing isn’t really accurate – from computing, to sports, to business to music, and he talked about many well-known examples as evidence.

Anyway, I couldn’t help but reflect on that again after that comment.

In younger days, I was always looking for shortcuts. How to get the best grade in school with the least amount of work. How to lose weight fastest. How to train for a race in the least amount of time. How to get promoted quickly. The truth is, shortcuts don’t really work. Not for the long-term anyway.

Every day, in every goal, I’m reminded that what you put in, is what you’ll get out. Sure, I have some innate skills and abilities that may put me above others in certain areas. But even some of those are actually from mastering the skill too. For a silly example, anyone who knows me IRL thinks I’m an extremely fast reader – that’s just a skill I have. But I argue, I am now. I started reading, actual children’s books, at age 4. My parents spent every single night when I was really young reading me books and trying to teach me to read alongside my older sister. I immediately took to it, loved it and for my entire childhood I read for at least an hour a night, and when caught up in a book I would secretly read hours into the night under my covers with a flashlight. Sometimes I would read my school’s summer reading books then steal my older sister’s books and read hers too. By the time I was in high school, I was reading at least a book (for fun in addition to school required books) a week. By college, especially in the summer I could finish an entire book in one beach day. So yes, I’m a fast reader but when you think about it, I’ve been working on that for years and countless hours. Even a small skill like reading fast takes hard work and dedication.

Something else that I’ve learned along the way is how good it feels to work hard. To put hard work in and to see and feel the progress. I actually love the journey, sometimes more than the end goal.

In Flywheel for weeks I’ve been progressing, but hitting around the same overall power or just above (the power score comes out of your RPM and TORQ – or your pace and resistance). I try to go weekly, on Fridays, and each time I feel myself working and pushing harder. This past Friday, I really saw how hard work pays off.

On the women’s side, I won every race, and then I won the overall TORQ board. And most importantly, I beat my own total power personal goal by a landslide.

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