If you could describe how I’m feeling right now, discomfort would pretty much sum it up.
I’m anxious.
Uneasy.
Worried.
Nervous.
A little regretful.
But excited too.
I am taking the new role at my company. Essentially I’m still under the same department, but I’m on a team with an entirely new role. I’m going from a supervisor of a small team that focuses solely on web updates to a project management role on the project services team.
I was approached by a woman at work on that team who said she saw the innate skills of a great project manager in me. She offered to mentor me herself. She convinced me that it would become a career path for me, and would allow me endless opportunities wherever I wanted to go. She wants the challenge of teaching and mentoring someone.
The idea really excited me. How long has it been since I felt challenged and content at work? A long time.
It takes my favorite aspect of my job – seeing a project through from start to finish and all the details in between and would make that my day to day role. It would be challenging work at times, but far better hours (some long days at the end of projects but mostly 9-5:30 on other days).
But it’s terrifying.
I’ve been on my team for 6 years. I’m known as the expert. I’m the go to. I’m confident in what I do, who I talk to and each meeting I step into. I love my team and how hard they work. I know their strong points, their challenges, and I know what works to motivate them.
I hate feeling uncomfortable. I hate feeling vulnerable. I hate feeling dumb. And most of all I hate the fear and risk of failure. This switch essentially rolls up all of my hates and serves it to me on a silver platter of doubt.
But looking back, this is really a pattern for me.
I find a new idea, challenge or opportunity. I think about taking it on, and I get more and more excited as I think about it and plan to do it. Then I actually take on the new challenge and I immediately feel doubt, discomfort and a tiny bit of regret for what I got myself into. Then I push through, as I always do, and in the end – what comes out of it – is usually an experience of a lifetime. A life changing experience.
I could go back and read this in detail on my own blog through my first triathlon training and when I started dating the Townie. How many times did I almost quit before and during both? But I pushed through and to date, crossing the finish line of my first triathlon and standing in the church and marrying the Townie now Husband, are some of the best moments of my life.
I guess it’s time to accept that I’m going to feel uncomfortable for a while.
“Don’t be afraid to expand yourself, to step out of your comfort zone. That’s where the joy and the adventure lie.”
you’ve gone and read my mind again!!! not sure if you’ve noticed but i have yet to write the blog on “my word” for 2013. i’ve gone back and forth between a few words and the one i keep coming back to is discomfort. not because i want to feel uncomfortable or unsure but because i NEED to. if there is anything i need to work on in this upcoming year it’s letting go of a little of my perceived need of control and facing discomfort.
i think this sounds like a fabulous opportunity and i am so glad you are going to go outside your comfort zone a little and take it. it will be growth, challenge, learning, experience and yes discomfort. but it’s these path choices that tend to teach us something new and wonderful about ourselves and i know you’ll be a success!
p.s. i’m so glad you’re writing here again
Haha, we’re such control freaks
I’m really looking forward to your post – and more so – what you do to push yourself out of your comfort zone/control and how you deal with it. I’m actually planning a hill sprints session after work just to hopefully “work out” some of this anxiety.
I can’t tell you how happy I am to be back here too. It’s such a relief to write this way again.
I have very similar feelings about starting my career. I often have to remind myself that terror and excitement have very similar neural pathways so I am really feeling both (and more) at the same time. I think both feelings switch roles between figure and ground. In those moments, remembering how amazing it feels to be excited and challenged by a new project often helps to ground me a bit. Good luck!
I do just need to keep reminding myself that I’m excited too and I’m looking forward to this change (as scary as it is). Thank you