In 2010, I wrote my first “I” post. A year later in 2011, I wrote my second one. I actually did a third one on my other blog, but it wasn’t the “write whatever first comes to mind” post as it’s been in years past. So here’s my real I post, take 3.
I am… still searching for my next goal.
I want…to get final word on my job change details, including salary and transition timing.
I have… 36 clean socks and yet seriously, none of them are matching pairs.
I wish… I would find that intrinsic motivation again, the kind that makes me feel alive.
I know… I am so lucky to have more than a few friends/family members who are described like so in Blackberry Winter; “Contrary to what most people think, the definition of a true friend is not someone who swoops in when you’re going through a rough patch. Anyone could do that. True friendship is when someone can appreciate your happiness – celebrate your happiness, even – when she’s not necessarily happy herself. ”
I hate… drugs and addiction. Hate.
I hear… the dryer going. Maybe I’ll find more lonely socks!
I crave… a really good make-out session with the husband. Not a quick kiss before work and not sort of kisses before getting it on. A real passionate make-out session.
I search… for ways to always feel fulfilled.
I always… re-analyze and deeply regret any time I am mean, harsh or hurt someone’s feelings. Years later those moments still replay in my mind and make me feel sick.
I usually… want a side of french fries and dessert.
I miss… the summers I worked at the country club when I was so carefree.
I love… my iPhone. As superficial as that is, it’s make my life 100 times easier.
I never… talk about the really dark parts of my past that will never be erased. I don’t want to. They will always be buried, as they should be.
I rarely… want to talk on the phone. It’s really not fun for me.
I cry… during every single episode of Parenthood.
I lose… self-control around cheese. I can eat a block of cheddar, a pound of sliced American, or an entire baked brie with ease.
I should… trash items in my inbox. It’s got over 8,000 emails now.
I worry… every time the husband leaves for a shift that he’ll get hurt or worse, won’t make it back home.
I dream… about having a baby and what it would be like to be a mom.
I was… addicted to fake tanning. I haven’t been in 2 full years and I never ever want to go again.
I need… to stop feeling guilty about what’s going on with my family.
I can… actually sit back and reflect on how far I’ve come.