Archive for May 26th, 2010

We were walking through REI after dinner to look at climbing gear so I could look into buying climbing shoes.  I bought these babies with my dividend and 20% member coupon for a total of $16!

As we’re looking through all the gear we passed through the camping gear. I don’t know what was said but my response was, “We’re not allowed to go camping anymore though?”

B: What? We can’t?
Me: You said no. You said shooting, climbing no camping.
B: I never said that.
B: There’s the attraction. That’s still there…
Me: (I attempted or hope my face didn’t read confusion) Umm. We went to Ireland together? We were fine sleeping in the same bed for 6 nights.
B gave me this incredulous look like, “not really…”
Me:  I think that’s why activity based things have been so great for us. I wouldn’t want to not be able to do things because of that.
B: You’re right, I don’t want that either. Right now camping does take a weekend day and the weekends are pretty scarce right now so at least climbing and shooting can happen now.

(Which is true considering I don’t think we have a matching weekend off together until mid July.)

It was a strange conversation. I tried to steer away from it. The truth is I don’t really want to know if he is still attracted to me. Or that he cares about me more than anyone in his life still. Or that he worries about my Tri training and making sure I’m eating enough or taking care of myself. Or the story about his uncle. His aunt and uncle were married into their 60’s, he decided to leave, but a few years later he came back knowing she was getting sick and has stayed with her since. He basically has taken on caretaker role – cleaning her, bathing her, everything. B looks at it like, when things really mattered he came back, and he is with her/loves her/cares for her and that’s what really matters right?

 My response?  There are men who would have never left at all.

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