Last night’s car ride home from New York was full of deep sobs. I haven’t physically felt that much sadness in a long time.
The death of my friend’s grandfather weighed on my mind. Knowing I’d be attending the funeral this morning surrounded by their heartbreak sent me down a dark path.
Getting to know a new friend better over the weekend. A friend who recently had to commit her own mother due to addiction and mental illness problems.
Seeing my Dad’s family – who I haven’t seen in almost 3 years. His Mom, my grandmother, who is slowly succumbing to type 2 diabetes and anger at being trapped in a house where she is bored out of her mind but can’t see the tv or books and can hardly walk. My Aunt, his sister, who rents the home and takes care of my grandfather along with her twin boys, who are now 24 and neither have full-time jobs. The stress of it all has given her shingles.
And then seeing B in a Facebook picture. He’s laying down on the floor of his friend’s house and their 1-year-old son is sitting on top of his stomach and they’re both laughing.
The emotion of this past weekend all caught up at once. It happened to catch up in tune with my period and my 3 hour car drive. Thankfully it was dark and no one could see the sob fest going on.
I’m not sure any profound thoughts or feeling really found me after my emotional breakdown last night. Sometimes though, I think you just need a good cry.