I’m thinking an alien abducted my well-trained, confident almost 6 month old puppy. He has been replaced by a spastic, terrified of everything (well not everything, just ridiculous things like me going into the bathroom, or the dishwasher opening, or someone he can’t see talking), he seems to have lost his hearing and decides when to listen, he barks out of nowhere, at nothing. I am hoping our second round of classes, Good Manners, will help us get through this phase. Or maybe it’s time to do a little snipping…
I’m feeling slightly guilty, still, about taking Bentley to daycare 1-2 days a week. Today I dropped him for a half day, to help get his zoomies out while I work from home and focus on what needs to get done. So far he seems to love going, and I know it’s a benefit to both of us, but I have this lingering guilt that I’m losing bonding time and taking the easy way out. I think I feel worse because…it’s nice to have a break and somehow that makes me feel awful, as if I don’t love him and it’s not that at all.
I’m sort of dreading my new Tokyo project after only a week of going at it so far. To say I have no idea what I’m doing is an understatement. I also didn’t realize how having a work call at 8pm (after starting the day with 9am meetings) feels like long one work day bleeding into the next work day. In addition, I have to work 24/7 the weekend of the actual move and right now it’s slated for late July/early August … exactly when I have a wedding, two wedding showers and two wedding bachelorettes – all of which are good friends and I know would be made a big deal if I miss. Which of course already conflicts with my best friend from homes 30th birthday, ugh. My anxiety and fear over all those activities is pretty much at an all-time high right now.
I’m loving MyFitnessPal app. I used it once a few years back and thought it wasn’t that great but lately I’ve been using it to get a better idea of what I’m eating and how to keep my portions under control while working out. The app has every food imaginable and it’s been awesome in making me realize where my eating goes overboard. Hello stress eating!
I’m feeling disappointed in myself in regards to my half-ironman training. For some reason I thought I would be flooded with motivation and yet I have fleeting moments, but it’s not sticking. I don’t know if I’m letting everything else get in the way, or if my heart just isn’t in it yet, but I’ve missed workouts and I haven’t given my all, at all. I have time, just over 5 months to be exact but it’s really important that I build my base back up.
I will admit that I need to get my workouts in in the morning. It’s the only time now that is a sure thing, with 600 plans/errands/responsibilities/work that comes up post 6pm. So starting next week I might have to force myself to rethink my schedule and get my butt up. Once my workout is done in the morning I always feel so much happier too.
I’ll also admit that I haven’t written much because every time I do write, all of the above comes flooding out and I sound so negative and so not me. That’s not who I want to be or how I want to feel in 2014.