Sometimes my expectations are set so high, that it takes away from celebrating when good, or even great things happen. Because deep down, I think…I could have done better.
Today I got my annual review in my “new” role (new department and new role). I went into it a little worried, seeing as I was a superstar in my old role, and consistently exceeded expectations and was benchmarked multiple times into new roles with larger salaries.
Overall it went well. Positive feedback, very fair development areas (apparently I can be more stern with certain people, ha), a base increase of 4.5% and 103% of my bonus potential. With the combo of the two (before taxes of course), I make over 6 figures. I should be thrilled. I mean, I am thrilled. I’m 29 years old, I am happy, if not the happiest I’ve ever been in my career and I have such growth potential –in my current role and the level up – both role and title wise, and financially.
The truth is, I started writing this post feeling a little disappointed.
It’s because my expectations are almost past reasonable. See when I started here, practically every other year I ended up with a $10k increase and a title change. In my 7 years here my salary has more than doubled. I went from specialist to coordinator to senior coordinator to supervisor to manager. I know the culture here, and I know the benchmark of my current role (I could be making over $10k more without a title change) and I know my abilities. I know deep down, I actually could have worked harder this past year.
The truth is, it’s not all about money. I mean don’t get me wrong, this place now officially has me in golden handcuffs. The earning potential is just far past so many other places – and it allows me to still, for the most part – have a good life outside of work. (If that ever stops, then the money isn’t worth it.) It allows my Husband and I to travel more, spend money on things we want to enjoy and not be beyond stressed at having to spend thousands each year on weddings, the puppy, moving, and other life events. Although, maybe still this year since we weren’t careful with our money and now we want to buy a house.
Anyway. I’m reminding myself that I just started a new role. I am getting great feedback. I have challenging goals I can set – I’m no longer in a role where I’m bored or unhappy or don’t see the value. Instead, I have so much to learn. To formally take my PMP exam, to manage various projects with varying complexity levels and so on. And I LOVE having something to work towards, it pushes me harder.
It feels good to get such positive feedback, not just from my manager, but from various others that I work with. Thinking about it, and writing about it – I feel good. Damn good. Of course I can always do better. There are those unrelenting standards again. So this time, for once, I am making myself celebrate this good news without focusing on what could be done better or my next step. For a few days, I’m celebrating a successful job change, and an accomplished year in my career.