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Posts Tagged ‘confession’

For months now, I’ve hinted at my unhappiness with my weight gain since last summer (13lbs to be exact). But more than a number on a scale, these past few months I’ve felt, down.

Now that doesn’t mean I haven’t been happy in a lot of different ways. For one, my family, friends, and the Townie have made me incredibly happy and we’ve all had some wonderful quality time and trips together.

But more so I’ve noticed that as I dropped exercise from my routine (which happened all to easily), my mood started to change. My positive, easy going attitude has turned irritable, and with the drop of a hat it snaps into cranky-complaining-mode.

My food intake has turned from healthy (with treats) to eating just to eat. Eating as a reward (for a good day or a bad day), eating my emotions and feelings, and definitely eating out of boredom. It doesn’t help that since Townie came along my portion sizes have doubled. 

And my energy is at an all time low. I used to have trouble falling asleep I was so wired. For the past few weeks – all I want to do is sleep. 😦 I’m sleeping in later and later and going to bed earlier and earlier. Add on that I’m also feeling tired all the time during the day too, so much that I could hardly keep my eyes open at points with the Townie in the Cape and sometimes all I can think about at work to get me through the day is getting home and getting back in bed.

My night-time habits have spiraled to an all time low too. Sure once a week I see some of the girls, and a few times I see the Townie, but on the nights off? I’m plopping down on my couch and watching hours of tv while mindlessly eating. I’m talking 4+ hours a night.

I’ve been embarrassed to even admit this, to anyone, to myself, and especially to the blog world.

But I think by admitting it here, I’m in a way forcing myself to change. I need to break the cycle.

Because I want to change. I know the biggest challenge is just doing it. Starting. In any little way possible. Stop the excuses, the complaining, the weak efforts and just friggan do it.

So here it is. I’m not overloading myself with unrealistic goals for the first 10 days (yeah 5:30am workouts would just be a setup for failure right now) but I just want to get back into a routine, back to feeling like myself – an athlete. Most importantly exercise needs to get back to being a priority, not the first thing to go in a day.

Rather than write a whole bunch of overwhelming goals I’m thinking I’m going to take this one day at a time. Each day my goal is to incorporate at minimum, 25 minutes of exercise. [This doesn’t count my walking to and from work.]

Tonight I’m headed back to this boxing class with my college roomie.

Day one of OUT OF THE RUT  begins!

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