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Posts Tagged ‘coworkers’

Routine Adjusting

So I alluded to my office moving in the coming weeks. And by office I mean the entire firm.

I wish I could talk about my career and job more on here but that’s one thing I actually can’t do. But trust me, sometimes I want to.

Anyway, with the move comes a lot of changes. While some changes are good (for example the new location will be a 15 minute walk from my apartment), there are also changes that are a bit harder to adapt to. 

I’m excited in my new location I’ll be in an OFFICE. I have a door! For the first time people won’t stop by my desk 18 times a day (while I’m on the MIDDLE OF A CONFERENCE CALL) to ask questions.

BUT, it’s a shared office…

Meaning, myself and my new(ish) male co-worker will be in a very small office together. I know I’m sounding a tad bratty but I think I have legitimate concerns.

We have a lot of calls. Between conference calls and direct calls that come through from any of our US, Europe or Asia offices, I’d say we have to be on the phone a good few hours a day. 

As it is now, we have a cube wall stifling some noise right now and I still have to actually plug my ear to hear what is being said on my call while my coworker’s loud voice booms into his call.

Our new office – NO SEPARATION. In fact think of a big long desk along one wall and in the center juts out a long table. It’s basically a T desk. I have the inner part of the office and he has the outer towards the door.

Yeah, we are going to be sharing a desk.  Meaning taking calls and being on conference calls is going to be pretty distracting to each other. And trying to work around each other’s schedule’s isn’t an option, everything is “urgent and a high priority” here.

I will have no privacy. I won’t be able to blow my nose without him staring at me.

To top that my eating habits are going to have to completely change. Remember how he doesn’t like cheese, eggs, etc? Factor in that with a teeny tiny office and it just won’t be fair to eat meals in there. 😦

So instead of bringing my breakfast and eating it at 9:15 at my desk which lasted me through until lunch, I’ll need to get into a routine of eating it at home. And instead of eating my lunch at my desk I’m going to have to find somewhere else. And snacks? No more crunchy, smelly, or cheesy snacks. 😦

I know it’ll just take some adjusting but I’m feeling my initial resistance to adjusting from a routine that I really like and I’m comfortable with.

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A few mini-lessons have basically slapped me in the face this week so I really wanted to share them.

1. It’s MENTAL

All of my workouts this week have been amazing but they have something in common. They have been brutal, mentally.

During my hour-long spin class on Monday my legs were tired and let’s face it, I felt lazy and I just wanted to go slower. I talked myself into pushing it as much as I could and at the end I felt sore, wiped out, and aaaamazing.

My original (what I thought was a push my limits goal) for my Tuesday night swim was 20 laps. Once I hit 20 I told myself to just keep going. A few more. I can do this. I got this. And I did. 33 laps later = VICTORY.

Then last night, I ran a 5k. I don’t know why but it was haaaard. My legs felt tired, my body felt heavy and I just wanted to stop. But I pushed, harder than I have pushed myself in a long,long time. And I did it. I ran the entire 5k with no breaks.

The truth is my body can do it but can my mind convince it of so? Your thoughts during a workout are so powerful. As soon as you let yourself think about stopping, or think you can’t do it , you’ve let yourself give up. Change your mentality – you can do it.

This leads me to something else.

2. Accept negative thoughts, dismiss them, then change them to positive.

My post here and then this morning reading Angela’s positive post here – it all makes sense. As soon as I accepted that shitty things happen and have tried to (for the most part) turn my thoughts positive, my optimistic nature has been creeping back in. It feels fan-friggan-tastic. Of course it’s normal to have negative thoughts, and that’s why accepting them is so important, but then switching gears to the positive is seriously the only thing that has helped me get through and move past the negative.

3. It’s OK to not do things you don’t want to do.

So I don’t mean here that you should let yourself skip out on things, or not try things out of fear or laziness. What I do mean is, it’s ok not be everyone’s friend or to say no on a night when you need your own time.

Last night I had dinner with an old co-worker. I was irritated before I even got there. I knew I didn’t want to go, I didn’t want to spend two hours eating shitty bar food, having drinks and trying to re-connect with someone who I just don’t think fits into my life anymore. I gave up a night with people who mean a lot to me because I felt like having dinner with him was something I should do. 

I kept telling myself I had to have an open-mind, make the best of it, don’t be selfish but then I realized afterwards. It’s OK to grow apart from someone and it’s OK to just say no.

I didn’t enjoy dinner. It was filled with his irritating comments (he likes to tell me things I should do – or tell me how to lead my life) and I find that really insulting especially from a 30 year-old lacking ambition who still wants to get wasted 3 nights a week and most importantly who doesn’t know me anymore. We’ve grown apart. Even as friends. And that’s OK.

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Today I am really excited for all the food I brought to work. Sometimes it’s the little things.
 
Breakfast was oatmeal, skim milk and a handful of raisins. This kept me full until almost lunch time! (Really hard to do.)
 
My lunch is an arnold’s whole grain sandwich thin with slices of brie cheese (Heaven) and slices of a golden delicious apple. I’ve got a side of the remaining apple slices and cucumber slices. Mmm.
 
And for a big afternoon snack since I won’t be home until late-ish is vanilla greek yogurt with my new favorites mixed in. A handful of dried dates, blueberries, and Cascadian Farm Organic Kids Cinnamon Crunch Cereal. (Yes, kids cereal.)
 
I also have leftover Buitoni ravioli waiting for me for dinner tonight. Yum.
 
I did something by accident this past week. I forgot to take out my birth control. [Warning:TMI to follow] I use the NUVA ring which I have absolutely love because the pill has always messed way to much with my moods/hormones and I hate being on anything where I don’t feel like me.
 
Anyway, I have it set on my calendar when to take it out, when to put one in and on Sunday I went to look at my calendar to confirm taking it out and realized, I was supposed to take it out a week ago! I know a lot of people do that anyway once in a while so it’s not a big deal but it’s just strange of me to do. I’m thinking (hoping) it could be part of reasoning behind my irritability today.
 
Have I mentioned I have a new coworker that started last Monday? It’s great to have another person although exhausting because realistically he needs thorough training and I’m the only one in Boston so that defaults most questions to me. But what’s more exhausting is that I have no privacy anymore. Our desks are literally connected so if either of us sniffles we hear it. Not his fault by any means but it’s just frustrating for me. It makes for my eating lunch really difficult, slightly rude, and full of way to slow (attempted) silent chewing. I really started to enjoy my lunches while blogging, reading, or eating and then going for a walk. Grr.

Did I mention he doesn’t like cheese? No cheese at all. It grosses him out. Who doesn’t like cheese?! But he likes apples, he’s crunching on one now…

Time to put myself in the time-out corner.

Oh and, major bonus points for anyone who knows the movie my blog title quote is from.

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Sometimes you just have a bad day. While there are a lot of positives I can focus on today sometimes you have to just accept that it was a bad day and tomorrow will be better.

My day started with a very long and very frustrating meeting. I have done my job for over 3 years and I work pretty hard. I’ve had long days and long nights of graduate school to be even better at my job. I have been promoted twice in the few years. I always try to be extremely accommodating to all of those I work with.

But today was different. There’s a woman at work who is just miserable to me. Out of defense, insecurity, or just disliking me – whatever it is – her behavior is absurd. Today in a meeting she kept referencing me in front of others as “poor Caitlin”. She was referring to me as that because  before my boss came into the meeting (late) she and her manager had been airing their gripes about my team to me. I can hold my own. Don’t call me poor anything.

Minutes later as she is explaining something she says, “J, it would be helpful to see this, or do this, and you [she looks at me and waves her hand] whatever your name is, can help with this.”

She had just said my name prior. She was sitting right next to me.

She was trying to make me feel disposable.

I was livid. Flustered. Appalled. We’re in a large professional law firm. We’re practically teammates in the same department. She is not my boss. She is not even close to my boss. Who does she think she is?

Never have I had a Partner or an Associate even talk to me like that let alone an informational professional. Never would that woman imagine to talk to me like that with our Director or COO present. It’s absolutely unprofessional. And childish. And no where near the first time it’s happened. That cow.

Anyway, after lots of thinking and cooling down I decided my amazing mother helped me formulate my action plan. I’ll be mentioning to my boss (who witnessed some of this anyway) that I felt it was really inappropriate the way the cow treated me and that if it happens again I plan on asking the cow to talk after with just me.

The cow and I will have a nice conversation. I will say, we have a large project that is going to span the next 6 months and will be working together often. We both have the same goals at the end of the day. I am willing to put 100% into this project. However, I find it very inappropriate and belittling when you say blank blank blank to me. I’d appreciate you treat me the same way you would any other team member.

My mother mentioned that people like that will usually continue until confronted because they know they can. And if that doesn’t work then I’ll really ask my boss to step in.

I’m trying so very hard to keep a cool head about this. To be the bigger person. To know that karma will take care of it all.

But it sure is difficult…Cow.

 

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