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Posts Tagged ‘dating’

I knew I had gained a bit of weight over the past year. I stopped using a scale but I could feel it. I was getting snug in my clothing, feeling more lethargic and a brutal new chaffing issue which I never had before started happening.

Yet I somehow managed to ignore it and just convince myself it was minor weight gains. Or it was the summer heat and being swollen from the humidity.

And then, I had a bit of a breakdown this morning.

I can’t get into my work pants.

PantS.

I’ve been wearing flowy summery dresses and skirts for about 3 months now and haven’t thought to pull my pants out. And then I pulled my grey pair out which were snug to get on and then, the button just wouldn’t pull shut.

On to the black pair. They were snug enough just trying to get them up my thighs that it’s uncomfortable to think about attempting to zip them.

The worst? A black & white dress that I fit into 2 years ago in what I felt was a heavier phase of mine. Stretching/pulling in the stomach now makes it look like I’m trying to get into a dress two sizes too small for me. And I am.

I can’t ignore it any more. It’s not just a gain in numbers that has become obvious on the scale but I can’t fit into my clothing. It’s taking a toll of my mood, my confidence, everything. It’s such an overwhelming and disappointing feeling. How did it happen? I’m not talking 3lbs here, I’m talking 17-19 lbs in one year.

I know how to fix this. Get to the gym, reduce the portions, eat healthier and cleaner. So why doesn’t it sound so easy?

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This past weekend was a fun one, but in some ways it was a roller coaster of emotions.

Early in the week the Townie and I bought movie tickets online to see Friday’s showing of Bad Teacher.  Once we got to the theater we found out that Harry Potter had taken over all of the theaters and our movie had been cancelled. We ended up getting a refund AND a pair of free tickets to see a movie any time we want. Score.

Since the movie was cancelled the Townie and I headed to Target. I’m sponsoring a 5-year-old little girl going into Kindergarten so I needed to pick up a backpack, lunch bag, folders, crayons, etc. My favorite part of school was always the back-to-school shopping so it was really fun. Even though it was a mundane, silly little Friday night – the Townie and I both agreed we had so much fun together.

Saturday morning we headed to a diner for breakfast and then I asked if he would be interested in taking a walk through my area so I could take pictures with my Canon Rebel that has been sitting in its box for months.

The Townie then headed home to an engagement party and I attempted a quick run (a painful 2 miler) before I headed to my friend’s goodbye party. (She’s moving to Canada 😦 )

After a few hours there, I rushed home, showered and got ready for the Townie to pick me up. His sister had her bridal shower earlier that day and wanted us to stop by for a drink and the whole crowd from the engagement party he attended was planning on going out in Boston so we were meeting up with them.

We had a quick drink at his sister’s where she had about 25 people over. It’s been nice getting to know his sister since with B, I was so close to his sister. After we went to meet up with his friends. While I like the Townie’s friends a few of their girlfriends/fiances/wives aren’t exactly the nicest girls. The Townie is my age (26) so the significant others of his friends are all around my age but they seem pretty immature. But a few of them are miserable. I give people the benefit of the doubt, and I’ll be nothing but nice, but they can be really catty, mean, insecure and the opposite of welcoming with a new person in “the group”.

I’m trying my hardest not to let those girls get to me, but I haven’t dealt with “mean girls” in a long time. I just don’t have the patience for it. The rest of the night was fun, mostly because I was dancing around with the Townie (I danced he swayed) before we headed home where I devoured two slices of pizza that were bigger than my head.

Sunday morning I woke up feeling hung over. Too much sun, too much sugar, and way too much prosecco and vodka was not a good combination. I stayed in bed until 12:30pm when I had to go meet my friend S to swim for the first time in months.

As painful and uncomfortable as I felt, the swim somehow made me feel a bit better. Maybe the chlorine soaked up the alcohol. 😉 After a good amount of laps, we got on spin bikes for about 15 minutes before I spent a good 20 minutes stretching.

I got home in the afternoon with lots of plans to clean and organize my life. The hangover won. I napped on and off for a few hours, watched tv, and was back into bed early. I decided this morning that at least until training, I need to take a bit of a break from drinking. A glass of wine here and there is fine, but nights like Saturday night really left me useless yesterday. It also seems to mess with my mood a bit making me sensitive, depressed and lazy.

Today though, is the start to a good week. 🙂

*all of these photos were taken by me 🙂

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Imagination is everything. It is the preview of life’s coming attractions.
 
 
I’ll be back, soon. 🙂

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The Townie and I have only been together for about 3 months. To be honest, it became too serious and too much, too fast. Rather than continuing to date and get to know each other, we were spending night after night together and focusing so much on future activities, that we weren’t living in the present.

For the past few days we weren’t quite right. I was feeling overwhelmed and he was feeling me pull away. Finally after a conversation last night, it seems like we’re both back on the same page. We’re going to get back to having fun and enjoying time with each other without it being so serious. This early on, it shouldn’t be about quantity, it should be about quality.

This weekend we’re headed for a mini getaway. We’re spending tonight through Sunday morning at a cape house that we scored for an awesome pre-season price. My hope is that it’ll be a relaxing weekend full of yummy food, beautiful weather, mini-golf, reading and just enjoying time away with each other.

*photo courtesy of weheartit.com

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Okay so I’m not running but this is the place where I can be 100% honest so here it is.

Last night I went to dinner with B (Townie knew ahead so it wasn’t a secret).

Truthfully? Our connection has been lost a little. I expected that. I didn’t expect to have it feel so clear why I wasn’t with B any more (we spent two hours talking about him, I’m pretty sure he asked me all of two questions…)

But at the same time I was surprised at how at moments, I still longed to be comfortable and safe in his arms.

I went home and met up with the Townie for the night. Here’s a guy secure and understanding enough to let me go out with my ex boyfriend. And sweet enough to have officially asked about being my boyfriend.

And yet last night as we were falling asleep, the fear set in a little bit.

Is this happening to fast?

It was so different than with B. With B we were together almost 6 months before calling each other boyfriend and girlfriend – and at that point we were basically falling in love. Becoming boyfriend and girlfriend at that point made it such a secure decision. I knew he was 110% in it.

While it’s only been about two months, the Townie and I for a few weeks now have said that we aren’t dating anyone else. We see each other multiple times a week. We go out places, we stay in, we meet each other’s friends and starting to meet each other’s families. So label or not, we’re acting like boyfriend and girlfriend.

So why is fear creeping in?

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Thursday night:

  • A catch-up dinner & beer with my friend J before a food sustainability talk at BU.

Friday:

  • Drooling over a breathtaking dress for the Royal Wedding
  • A day off from the Corporate world full of errands and laundry
  • A scrumptious, relaxing, and wine filled dinner in the North End (little Italy) with the Townie. Followed-up by pastries and meeting his sister and her fiance.

Saturday:

  • 2 childhood friends from New York making the trek to Boston just for me. Catching up and laughing all morning.
  • Midafternoon showing of Water for Elephants.
    Not as good as the book, but still worth seeing
  • Night of laughing, chinese take-out and actual pillow fights.

Sunday:

  • Grocery shopping, cleaning, and getting life organized.
  • A night visit from the Townie, accompanied by cupcakes and…a relationship talk. Bye by single status 😉

 

May is already off to a great start. 🙂

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Exactly one year ago I wrote this post, Confessions at 25.

My God how life has changed.

For one, I’ve moved on from B. I still can’t believe it, but I’m exclusively dating someone, and it ain’t B. For another, I’m no longer jealous of other’s relationships. The “why not me” has turned into, everything truly does happen for a reason at the right time. I trust in that.

I want children one day. Actually, recently I’m scaring myself by wanting children now. (If someone would like to let me borrow their baby for a day so I can understand that I’m not quite ready for a baby yet, that would be great). Point being, I do want children, I just didn’t picture myself having them with B.

My Masters did have a return on its investment. Even if it was only in bonus and raise ($$$) form from my job at this point. Eventually, it’ll have some additional ROIs.

I’m sure as hell enjoying the travelling part of life and I’m making moves – between my tri, my trip to Patagonia, online dating and countless amazing times with family & friends. I’m living, happily.

So today, here are my confessions at 26:

I’m scared I’m falling for someone so different from what I expected that I may have to meet quite a few challenges to make it really work.

I’m scared I’m still not fully in the right career, and I don’t exactly know what the right career would be. I’m not sure I ever will.

No one tells you how hard it is to grow apart from friends. Even if you’re still surrounded by the most loving family and friends, losing even one friend is just plain tough. 😦

It’s almost too easy to get caught up in the “why not me, why not nows” in your mid to late 20’s. Why is she getting married? Why don’t I have that prestigious job? Why am I not buying a house yet? Wrinkles, maybe a gray hair, sweets sitting heavier on my thighs – is it time for hair dying, botox and lipo already?!

I can’t predict the future. Clearly I can’t considering my post last year couldn’t imagine letting go of B let alone being with someone else. So who knows what the next year will bring. All I know is I’m going to put myself out there, with the most positive attitude I can.

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