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Posts Tagged ‘Friends’

I knew this time would come. When the excitement of a new role would wear off, and the complete and utter discomfort would set in.

I lack all confidence stepping into a meeting. I feel like I’m failing at facilitating, motivating, and delegating to get things done to meet deadlines. I feel lost. My brain feels fuzzy like it’s not picking up on this logic – but instead keeps sticking with my old logic.

I know it will take time, experience, and some education. I know all I can do is work hard, ask for feedback and mentoring, and do my best. I know in time, I will feel confident again.

Last night I left work disheartened. I came home to the husband cooking salmon and asparagus, a completely cleaned out and stocked fridge, encouraging words, and a movie (of my choice) waiting to play.

We watched Parental Guidance, and as cheesy as parts may have been it was the perfect movie for last night.

Sure work is important, my career is important to me, but the silly little movie reminded me that there is so much more to life. There’s family – my husband, our families, our future kids, and our friends, who are just like family. Being surrounded and supported by all of them makes me realize that a bad day at work, isn’t so bad. It’s part of life, it’s part of growing, and it’s part of stepping outside of my comfort zone.

But I’m lucky, really lucky. Because after that discouraging day, or when I’m in such a low mood, I have the best support system there is.

So today I’m thankful, and I’m saying it.

I’m thankful for my husband, who cares so much about making sure I feel loved and happy.

I’m thankful for our families – our true blood-line families, and our friends who are just as close and considered family. They support us, they make us laugh, and they make life even more fun.

I’m thankful I get to focus on my fitness passion right now – to get healthier and consistently exercise. I am thankful I can see a personal trainer once a week, that I have a handful of gym classes I love, and that finally, I’m getting my run back. The kind of runs where I zone out, day-dream, and literally feel the stresses and ounces of fat melt away.

I’m thankful that I stepped outside my comfort zone at work. I know it’s bringing me down in some ways right now, but I also know I’d still feel stuck and unhappy in my old role. I’m just thankful this opportunity came up, and that I have something I am eagerly working towards.

And most of all, I’m thankful that Lent is over on Sunday and I can eat dessert after 47 days of absolutely no desserts. Kidding…sort of. 🙂

Thankful

weheartit.com

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B called me this past Friday night.

As I was setting out my gear and clothing for each section of my tri I saw his name pop up on my phone. I almost didn’t pick it up, but it’s random when he does call so I thought maybe there was something wrong.

Turns out he was driving down to the Cape and wanted my advice on whether or not to buy a piece of Real Estate. I couldn’t talk long since my wake up time was going to be 4:40am but he did a quick overview of what was going on and I rationally tried to talk him through some of it.

We agreed it would make more sense to talk at a later time and hung up.

I really enjoy being B’s friend. Not in a, “let’s hang out and talk intimately about life together” sort of way but more in an “if anything is wrong, or you need to chat, here is someone who knows you so well” and it’s OK to call them.

But I no longer want to tell him certain details about my life, I want those saved for just the Townie.

I haven’t posted too much detail about the Townie. Part of it is in fear that by saying it somehow it will change things. Part of it is that this blog was founded on my breakup with B, going through heartbreak, and the ups and downs of dating. But that’s all changed and I guess my blog has really changed with it.

The truth is, I love the Townie, more than I ever expected to. I mean did I really think I would meet someone on Match.com? No! But, I’m just so excited for our future – the prospect of travelling together, living together and being married. I can picture him being such a great Dad. The way he looks at me, like I’m just this amazing girl he can’t help but love is the best feeling in the world. Every day I feel like I love him more and more and I just didn’t know that was possible.

I don’t really know if there was a point to this post except to reflect on how things really do change.  Without sounding too preachy, you just can’t picture what your life will be like in a year from now.

The most important thing I have learned from the last year is that you really have to take a few risks, be uncomfortable, and get out there to make changes in your life. I wouldn’t have done my first Tri, or gone gallivanting through South America with a new friend, or tried online dating otherwise. And most importantly, I probably wouldn’t be over B.

Yet now I’m hooked on tris and fitness, I’m planning yearly trips with that new friend who has become a great friend, and I’m in love with a guy who’s perfect for me.

It doesn’t mean all of your efforts to change will always turn out successful. I have countless posts on feeling lonely, frustrated, anxious and heart-broken. But eventually that changes too. All of that, was well worth the results.

“Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.”

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I could be in a bad mood today.

I skipped the gym last night because my legs were so sore from Monday night’s strength training and run.

Then I was wide awake playing words with friends until 12:30am.

Then I had a dream I put my wetsuit on, got into a lake, and couldn’t stop sinking because I ate too much and it was pulling me down.

I shut my alarm off when it went off at 6am so I could sleep more.

But you know what? There are a lot of things to be happy about today.

F*** the negativity.

For one, I’m hitting the gym during my lunch hour. Mental health lunch has never been more needed. And it’ll be an even better workout since I got that extra hour of sleep this morning.

And, did I mention I now have an iPad? YES. I loooove it. Basically my mother (who is clearly far cooler than me) had one from work but it’s an older version so they gave her a new version and said she could keep the older version. Old version is still new version for me! 🙂

Do you know what I’m doing at 5:45pm today? Finally using one (of two!) of my groupons for an hour-long massage at a place right by work. It’s the perfect timing (currently sore and I have my tri this weekend) and I’ve only read amazing reviews about the place.

Then I’m meeting up with the Townie to have dinner at a new burger place I’ve been dying to try. Red meat = iron = strong muscles for my tri, right?

And on a super exciting looking forward to it note – my 3 boston girlfriends and I just booked a wine vineyard weekend trip with our 3 non-boston friends this fall. Woohooo!

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When I first moved to Boston after college I craved chaos.

Basically, I wanted to continue with my college social life. I worked a job I hated from 9am to 7pm and then ordered takeout or went out to eat every night and frequented the bars as often as possible. I stayed over at friend’s places for an entire weekend – eating, drinking and socializing every free second of time. I did my laundry maybe once in the time of 3 months and cleaning absolutely never happened. And the gym? Not a chance.

That all toned down a bit when I got a different job and started getting my masters at night. However, it was still chaos, just controlled chaos. I’d go to work from 9am-5:30pm, run to class from 6pm-9pm, then see my boyfriend, friends or run after. Most mornings I found myself getting up hours early to attempt to write a paper or read assigned texts for a class that night. Weekends were packed with friends or travel.

And this summer has really topped the chaos meter. Don’t get me wrong, this summer has been fantastic:

  • 2 Cape Cod trips with the Townie (one with his friends)
  • 1 trip to Florida with family
  • 1 trip to NY for my sister’s graduation from college
  • Warrior Dashing through mud (resulting in poison ivy) and gallivanting around phantom gourmet’s bbq beach party
  • A night in Rhode Island for dinner with family & the Townie
  • A moving away party for a friend
  • A weekend visit from 3 NY besties packed with a duck tour and red sox game
  • A week-long training at work
  • A week-long beach vacation with a few of the girls
  • A Portsmouth weekend trip with the Townie
  • A going away party for another friend
  • A birthday bbq in the suburbs

And that’s not including tri training, dinners after work with friends, or the upcoming weeks with 2 weddings, 2 tris, a 10k, a Patriots game, 2 kayaking trips, 2 fantasy football leagues & drafts, and a weekend in Stowe, Vermont with zip lining. That’s just the end of August through September.

Whoa.

As the summer is coming to an end and my crazy Fall is starting I am realizing all I want these days is some simplicity and routine.

I’m craving getting up in the morning and going to a spin class, going to work, coming home to a clean apartment, cooking a fabulous home cooked dinner and sitting down with the Townie to enjoy it.

I’m craving a weekend morning where I can wake up and not have a packed schedule for the day. Instead just decide what I want to do that day.

I’m craving living off of one cup of coffee on most days and not 4 in order to keep my eyes open.

I’m craving exercise for fun, and not for tri or road race training.

I’m craving quality time with my friends, but not having to make plans multiple nights per week, squeezing it all in.

I feel like I’m ready to leave behind the chaos and even some of the controlled chaos for a while.

I’m ready to build a life with the Townie, which means fantasizing about moving in together when my lease runs up next Spring. And yes that fantasy includes a pave setting princess cut diamond ring hanging out on my finger. 🙂

I feel like I’m ready to have more space than my studio apt (umm, like a bedroom!) but also so I can cook dinners and invite people over and skip the crowded bars where I have to scream at my friend to find out how her new job is going only to ask “what” 4 times before hearing her answer.

Maybe that makes me old, or boring, or anti-social, but it’s a change I’m going with. This fall and winter I’m toning it all down. Maybe simplicity isn’t such a bad thing. 🙂

*source

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Today is just one of those days. I’m hormonal. That causes irritability and rage combined with a horrible headache. Add in a few people at work who are acting as if I am their secretary today and then getting a backhanded compliment from someone. It’s driving me just a bit nuts that since my soon to be promotion announcement, it feels like I’m being pushed a step back.

ANYWAY, as much as I want to whine, and eat cheese fries in a cold ac’ed comfy bed while watching Pretty Little Liars…I won’t be.

So here’s what’s great about today:

1. I woke up feeling rested. Thank God for a night under 85 degrees so I could actually sleep.

2. I had a nice catch-up lunch with my friend V. We’ve felt distant for a while and seriously it was nice to feel reconnected again.

3. I did a basic cleaning of my apartment last night along with 3 loads of laundry. Going home today into a clean-ish apartment is going to feel amazing.

4. I am seeing the Townie tonight. We’re swimming together (I really believe the benefits of working out together as a couple) then having dinner and relaxing. I’m more than looking forward to some cuddle sessions with him 😉

5. 3 more days to this work week. This weekend I have 3 besties from NY coming up for touristy Boston fun. Then next week I have training. Then the week after that…VACATION WITH MY GIRLFRIENDS AT THE BEACH!!!

 

 photo from weheartit.com

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This past weekend was a fun one, but in some ways it was a roller coaster of emotions.

Early in the week the Townie and I bought movie tickets online to see Friday’s showing of Bad Teacher.  Once we got to the theater we found out that Harry Potter had taken over all of the theaters and our movie had been cancelled. We ended up getting a refund AND a pair of free tickets to see a movie any time we want. Score.

Since the movie was cancelled the Townie and I headed to Target. I’m sponsoring a 5-year-old little girl going into Kindergarten so I needed to pick up a backpack, lunch bag, folders, crayons, etc. My favorite part of school was always the back-to-school shopping so it was really fun. Even though it was a mundane, silly little Friday night – the Townie and I both agreed we had so much fun together.

Saturday morning we headed to a diner for breakfast and then I asked if he would be interested in taking a walk through my area so I could take pictures with my Canon Rebel that has been sitting in its box for months.

The Townie then headed home to an engagement party and I attempted a quick run (a painful 2 miler) before I headed to my friend’s goodbye party. (She’s moving to Canada 😦 )

After a few hours there, I rushed home, showered and got ready for the Townie to pick me up. His sister had her bridal shower earlier that day and wanted us to stop by for a drink and the whole crowd from the engagement party he attended was planning on going out in Boston so we were meeting up with them.

We had a quick drink at his sister’s where she had about 25 people over. It’s been nice getting to know his sister since with B, I was so close to his sister. After we went to meet up with his friends. While I like the Townie’s friends a few of their girlfriends/fiances/wives aren’t exactly the nicest girls. The Townie is my age (26) so the significant others of his friends are all around my age but they seem pretty immature. But a few of them are miserable. I give people the benefit of the doubt, and I’ll be nothing but nice, but they can be really catty, mean, insecure and the opposite of welcoming with a new person in “the group”.

I’m trying my hardest not to let those girls get to me, but I haven’t dealt with “mean girls” in a long time. I just don’t have the patience for it. The rest of the night was fun, mostly because I was dancing around with the Townie (I danced he swayed) before we headed home where I devoured two slices of pizza that were bigger than my head.

Sunday morning I woke up feeling hung over. Too much sun, too much sugar, and way too much prosecco and vodka was not a good combination. I stayed in bed until 12:30pm when I had to go meet my friend S to swim for the first time in months.

As painful and uncomfortable as I felt, the swim somehow made me feel a bit better. Maybe the chlorine soaked up the alcohol. 😉 After a good amount of laps, we got on spin bikes for about 15 minutes before I spent a good 20 minutes stretching.

I got home in the afternoon with lots of plans to clean and organize my life. The hangover won. I napped on and off for a few hours, watched tv, and was back into bed early. I decided this morning that at least until training, I need to take a bit of a break from drinking. A glass of wine here and there is fine, but nights like Saturday night really left me useless yesterday. It also seems to mess with my mood a bit making me sensitive, depressed and lazy.

Today though, is the start to a good week. 🙂

*all of these photos were taken by me 🙂

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