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Posts Tagged ‘ironman 70.3’

I know I keep jumping back and forth with this. And I know it’s silly and probably frustrating to some who can easily accomplish a half ironman (or who think I can). And maybe I can. But I hate that I wake up, excited for the day, excited for workouts, excited for my upcoming trip to St. Thomas, but then deep down, I’m anxious and weighed down by the looming June date. Most of all, I’m mad at myself – for not feeling differently about the race. For not being excited and jazzed about it. For telling everyone, and thinking if I weren’t to do it, how embarrassed and frustrated with myself I would feel. For not thinking about how if I had just signed up for a regular triathlon first, and trained for it and killed it I would be ecstatic. It doesn’t always have to be the extreme. For not taking some time to think about which one I signed up for either – a time when my entire mom’s side of the family, including my mother will be in Alaska. And where I’ll have to travel 6 hours away, when there’s one just a few months later (already full) that’s less than 2 hours away and I’ve done the triathlon there and know and love the course.

Would I regret not doing it? Yes. Maybe. I think I will. I would feel like a failure. I failed everyone I told I would do it. I had every opportunity to make this into what I wanted, and I didn’t. I didn’t put it what I wanted to get out. So would I feel better and happier every day for the next few months though if I didn’t do it? Yes. Would I be excited to participate in a regular triathlon around the same time frame? Yes, very much so. Because let’s be honest, I know I’d kill a regular tri at this point.

And so that’s where my mind is right now. Keep training. Participate in my duathlon this week. No matter what my training is not going to waste. If anything I’ll be signing up for a triathlon that I’ve had my eye on the last weekend in June, that’s right near the Husband’s family’s house.

I just hope that in the next few days I wake up one morning and just accept it – one way or another. Be honest with myself, be true to myself, and do what makes me happy. Even if that means disappointing others, and myself in a way.

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I was bordering on panic mode around my half-ironman this morning. To the point I looked into postponing to a later race (not possible). I haven’t been consistent with my training and I don’t feel ready.

Let’s be honest though, I don’t think I’ll ever feel ready.

But I have 10 weeks. Some crazies train for half-ironmans in 10 weeks alone. I have a base, even if my mind is telling me I don’t. I can swim 1.2 miles now. I can bike 40 miles at a 17mph pace without feeling tired. I need to do a few more long bike bricks. Running, well, I can jog/walk at a 5.0 mile pace the whole damn time if needed. Anyway, I know exactly what to do to make myself feel prepared and more positive. And seriously, I’m not just saying this, I will be thrilled, tears of happiness thrilled, prouder than hell of myself, if I can finish this race without getting cut off.

I started to list out what I need to get done in order to feel less panicked:

-Commit to prioritizing my training for the next 10 weeks.

-Celebrate each training week and build up my confidence.

-Get my bike work done. (Tune-up, clip in pedals, a flat tire kit, and an extra water bottle cage.)

-Get a few outdoor rides in.

-Participate in the duathlon I signed up for at the end of April (3 mile run, 11 mile bike, 2 mile run) – the perfect opportunity to get a little more used to my shoes and get the race feeling back.

-Watch a few training videos. (What to pack for the race, changing a flat, and other nutrition tips.)

-Practice with nutrition.

-Practice race outfits.

-Practice transitions.

-Book my race hotel room, Friday –Sunday.

 

Here’s my training that I want to accomplish this week. I will stick to my plan, these workouts are my top priority, and I know I have no reason not to be able to. I can do this. 

Week10

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I broke my lent promise this morning. When my alarm went off at 5:40, I shut it off. I didn’t even snooze, I just said, absolutely not. I’ve had over a week straight now of 5:40am mornings. I actually have been loving my morning workouts and really do like getting them in before work.

However, yesterday, I hit training hard. I got up at 5:40 and took an intense flywheel class. When lunch time rolled around at work, I took another. That’s almost 2 hours of intense biking. I’m talking all out each class, hills and sprints for 600+ calorie burning classes, and somehow I found myself having the energy to go harder in the second class. In reality, that’s just a blip of what I’ll be doing on race day – but I think the combination of my 6 days straight last week, (Saturday off), then another couple of days of hard training in combination with getting my period and my body just wanted sleep this morning. I am not even sore per say (I’m tight for sure) but I just wanted more than 6 -7 hours of sleep (especially because I’m still adjusting to the Husband coming into bed, tossing/turning/and talking). And so I slept another glorious hour and woke up at 6:40 feeling much, much better.

My boss has said a few times that I should feel free to adjust my work hours since I’m putting an average of 5-10 night hours in total each week with this project. So today I am finally taking her up on that offer and I’m leaving work to catch a 4pm train. That gives me enough time to head straight to the gym, get my hour run in, then pick Bentley up, heat up my leftovers for dinner and start my night calls.

I’m having severe hatred towards the scale right now. I feel great. I’m eating better (not fantastic, but better for sure and I’m tracking calories and portions), and I’m working out 6 days a week. My clothes are fitting better, my body feels more energized and my stomach feels like it’s slowly making its way back to the inside of my pants (versus hanging over… 😉 ) So whyyyyy isn’t the scale budging? I know the whole losing inches, gaining muscle, but seriously? Can’t it budge a few pounds and make me feel better?

This weather is really getting to me. I normally love snow and winter, but I’m over it by February. It’s March 25th and we are getting hit with 3-6 inches of snow tonight. This is the first time I ever remember being truly depressed about the weather. The temps are still frigid, and even down to the low teens at night. It just feels windy and dreary. I need warmth and sun. I want to feel motivated to go for a walk outside or happily walk to my car at 5:40am instead of constantly shivering, and feeling unmotivated to go outside. If it wouldn’t set off my old addiction (still going strong!) I’d probably go fake tanning just to feel warmth and sun. Bring on Spring, please!

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Sometimes all I need to stay motivated is to see my progress. Not just “feel” it, but see data in some form or another that proves I’m making progress. I know I can see it on the scale, a few pounds lost in the last couple of weeks. I know I can see it among my training plan – longer, harder workouts. But something about seeing the data from Flywheel, to literally see that I have consistently pushed harder each class, makes me so very happy.

Flywheel_Progress
I don’t care as much about MAX TORQ (resistance) in that it really depends on the instructor you get (some prefer hills, some prefer sprints). I also think the average speed is pulled from who knows where because, while it’s one hell of a high intensity class, unless you’re faster than Lance Armstrong, you’re not going an average of 30mph. However to see my total power (an equation of RPM and TORQ) jump higher and higher each week – confirms my feeling that I’m working hard, getting stronger and faster.

Sometimes that’s all I need to keep pushing forward. It’s what  just motivated me to sign up for a duathlon in a month. A short course, but one I love, (actually, I first referenced it here), and I would love to have a mini-goal on the way to this bigger 70.3 goal. A good way to ease myself back into the tri scene, get comfortable on my bike, and go into an event with confidence.

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Energized

There’s something about having a goal and a new routine that completely energizes me.

Monday was day 1 of my half ironman training. With a 30 minute swim (focused on form and breathing to both sides) and a 60 minute bike (staying between 90-100 RPMs on a “flat road”), I knew I would need to start planning my schedule and prepping meals. I got my workout done first thing in the morning, and by evening time I was going on a short snow hike with the puppy, vacuuming, doing loads of laundry, prepping my lunch for work the next day, and roasting a whole chicken for the husband’s return.

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I ended the night snuggling on the couch with my two boys, a belly full of the most delicious chicken and potato dinner, eating warm out of the oven chocolate chip cookies and watching NCIS. I felt accomplished and content.

photo 1 (3)

Tuesday was an off day and truthfully I’m so glad I have a plan. I was so energized that part of me wanted to head to the gym and just go as long as hard as I could. Obviously that’s a dumb idea, and having my schedule say it was an off day stopped me from doing so.

Instead I went home, in another snow storm (getting me home much later) and cooked dinner. (I’m on a roll compared to our recent take-out kick that was killing our budget.) I made a quick roasted chicken sausage, spinach and whole wheat pasta dinner. The Husband took the night off – of his normal gym schedule and work – so it was another treat to eat dinner together and hang out. I was still energized after dinner and cleaned all the dishes, got my bag packed, we cleaned off our cars and ran Bentley in the snow, and then had an hour to watch Biggest Loser together.

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Wednesdays morning I was up at 5:46am feeling happier than I have felt in a while. Not to say I wasn’t happy before, but usually when the alarm goes off at 5:46 I think of ways to get back to bed. I was excited to have more training on my schedule. I spent 45 minutes doing strength training and then another 10 minutes stretching my crazy tight hips and it bands. After work I completed a 30 minute, slow and steady run that was on the plan. Wow, I’m out of running shape, that’s all I will say.

I was even excited to cook again. I made pork chops with applesauce, roasted broccoli and garlic quinoa for the husband and myself.

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On Thursday (my WFH) I had another 30 minute run on the schedule. Between fighting a cold, a frigid 2 mile walk in the ice with the puppy, and just feeling sleepy I was not in the mood to run or cook. But I pushed myself and got to the gym, ran my 30 minutes, and came home to eat soup with the husband. I’ll admit it, I felt better after doing it.

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(The duct tape on the door is to cover the bite holes this guy made…)

It’s funny – after weeks of not feeling the gym, not cooking, cleaning only when I got to the anxious state – I finally got to the point where I want to work out. I want to cook dinners. I want to keep the house clean. I want to wake up early and get moving. I want to keep this motivated, energized, content feeling going.

I can’t help but thank my half ironman training plan to getting me back to this place. I love it!

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High – Low

High:
Using an extra vacation day on Friday to have a full day off from work. Spent the morning shopping and looking for Christmas decorations.

Low:
Not finding any “non-tacky but still cheap” Christmas decorations.

High:
Beautiful snow filled hikes and walks with my puppy.

Don't eat the yellow snow

Q Don’t eat the yellow snow

Low:
My once sweet little puppy has turned into a rebellious, marking, biting a hole in the wall, chewing on my thongs,all the sudden humping monster.

photo 4

The art of deception

photo 5

High:
Spending most of Saturday with my 3 girlfriends celebrating one of their recent engagements. I think we sat in the restaurant sipping champagne, coffee, and eating delicious french toast for almost 4 hours.

photo 1

photo 2

Low:
Coming home all excited to get snowed in so I had the excuse to do nothing but watch a movie. Realizing TV and recent “just in” movies all suck. Spend $4.99 on Mortal Instruments and cringe at the fake cheesiness for two hours.

High:
Waking up to over a foot of magical, beautiful white snow from the nor’easter.

Low:
Having to cancel my massage day with a friend because of the weather.

High:
Cleaning, actually meal planning, and grocery shopping to get prepared for the week ahead.

Low:
Realizing after all of that, all I want for dinner is an instant lunch soup and a cup of cocoa with marshmallows. The last time I had one of these soups was after a drunken freshman night in college.

High:
Talking with my Ironman half coach and getting my first week’s plan training starting tomorrow!

Low:
Realizing that day one is an hour and a half workout. 30 min swim and 60 min bike. Feeling slight doubts that I can do this…

High:
Loving the snow, and loving it even more since I didn’t even have to shovel. My landlord’s cousin came with his plow and shovel and did our entire driveway and walkway.

Low:
The layer of wet snow it left has turned to complete ice and I’ve almost fallen 18 times.

This past weekend really has been wonderful. The highs by far outweighed these silly lows. The only real low is that I miss my husband and I’m so excited he’s home tomorrow! Oh…and the puppy humping thing is a real low too…traumatizing. 

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My birthday secret

Tomorrow is my 29th birthday. The idea that this will be the last year of my 20’s feels like a pretty big milestone. I could list 100 goals really, big and small, about life, my career, my marriage, myself, family, friends, weight-loss, fitness, and so on.

After endless thinking about goals, and then the various reasons why I don’t think I could accomplish them I found myself realizing I want to truly focus on one thing for the remainder of my 20’s.

Excuses.

My excuses come from a combination of an overflow of priorities, procrastination and having to face fears or step out of my comfort zone.

I’m going to stop making them. I’m going to focus on replacing my excuses with actions.

I don’t have the time or energy to continuously rationalize and waste on obsessing over why I can’t accomplish or do something that I want to do. The past few months I have been making excuse after excuse, valid or not, enabling myself to take the easy route and give up.

And so want to know a secret?

I just emailed a coach to have initial conversations about training for Ironman 70.3 Syracuse in June of 2014.

And I’ve talked to the Husband about his support and blessing if I do this. How starting to try for a family wouldn’t happen until after next June. And he’s given it, easily, he says.

And I’ve sat here, thinking about the countless hours of training, and crazy early mornings in frigid temperatures, and numerous brick workouts that I’ll need to do over the next like 8 months. And how terrifying it’ll be to get back on my bike. And how I’ll probably break down 10 times, minimum.

And that I’m kind of crazy because let’s be honest…I’ve done a few sprint triathlons. This is Ironman 70.3

Deep down past all the fear though is pure excitement. An overflow of fucking excitement.

So on my final birthday of my 20’s I give myself this: 1.2 miles of swimming, 56 miles of bike riding, 13.1 miles of running, physical and mental tests I can’t fathom yet, and the most indescribable feeling as I cross that finish line.

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