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Posts Tagged ‘pregnancy’

I’m in a weird state of wanting and having so many things to write about – but somehow I just haven’t made the time. I have a feeling in a few weeks I may be writing a lot more again.

I’m currently 33 weeks and 2 days pregnant. Holy moly time flies when you’re pregnant. I’m officially in the getting uncomfortable stage. There are still moments/hours where I forget I’m pregnant (seriously, sometimes I feel so normal) but now there are more and more moments (usually at night) where I feel very much pregnant. I can’t always catch my breath, can’t get comfortable, piercing back pains (mid and upper back, not lower like I expected), hip pain, feeling super hungry then super full, and lots of tossing and turning at night.

I’m also sort of over all the pregnancy comments and advice at this point. I take it all in stride, and truthfully it’ll probably only get worse once I have a newborn but it’s funny how much and what people comment about. The amount of people who will negatively comment about what I choose to not eat/drink it so surprising (I guess I expected it the other way, people telling me not to eat or drink things versus questioning when I don’t). It’s funny because I know people who have gone on such restrictive diets – be in juice cleanses, paleo, whole30, whatever the case to lose weight (in a healthy or even not so healthy way) and choose not to eat things because it doesn’t make them feel good or impacts them in some way (the amount of dairy free, gluten-free, caffeine free, etc. friends I have has I swear doubled) – and yet when I say no, sorry, I’m not drinking any alcohol, no I’m not eating lunch meats, etc. it becomes almost an argument. “you really can’t have any? Would once really be that bad? Is this little bit of cheese really going to do anything?” It’s like…giving up some unpasteurized cheese, runny eggs, or a glass of wine for 9 months – is nothing compared to making sure this is a healthy baby that I don’t hurt in any way shape or form. More than ever I care about what I am putting into my body because it’s not just about me. At the same time too, I would never ever judge anyone for what they decide to do or not do when pregnant. I would never, ever forgive myself it anything happened as a result of that one time. If they comfortable doing something – it’s their body and their baby – it’s not something I would ever comment on! I mean… do you know how many nights in a row I have eaten rocky road ice cream? Maybe someone should comment on that, ha. 🙂

I have these moments where I feel so lucky, blessed and excited (borderline impatient) for this little girl to arrive. Then to be honest I am having more and more moments of fear. It’s so soon! I just can’t fathom how things will change. How the Husband and I will change, how it won’t just be “us” anymore, how it will impact Bentley, how tired I’ll be, if I’ll feel alone at all, what if I don’t feel the immediate connection with her and I’m not a “natural” mom? What if I completely feel lost and depressed by staying home for 14 weeks – and not working – something I have done since the age of 13 without break. What if I take out my tired/frustration/fears on the Husband and we totally crumble? What if all we can talk about – to each other and everyone else – is diapers and poop and babies?

Things with Bentley have been a little crazy over the past few weeks – but somehow I think it all worked out for the best. Long story short, we got a call two weeks or so ago that right after Bentley was dropped at his daycare, he bit another dog. Apparently a dog was jumping on him, the owner saw Bentley growl at the dog, the dog kept jumping on him and Bentley turned his head and bit the dog. He bit her right on the head so it caused an open gash and that dog had to go to the vet. Unfortunately, the daycare owner said he just can’t watch the dogs that closely – and that Bentley seems to want to be able to have personal space throughout the day at different times and since this is one open room for 30 dogs, that doesn’t work and unfortunately now that he has bitten another dog, he just isn’t allowed to return. In other words, my dog got expelled!

I had some immediate reactions when I got the call. First, like a failed parent, I felt embarrassed. Then upset. Then, and maybe I’m rationalizing it, a little annoyed. I mean he admitted to seeing Bentley show a warning sign – and still did not separate them. Then totally overwhelmed – we were about to go away to a wedding in Baltimore the week after, and where would he stay if not at his normal daycare? Then I took action, as fast as I could. First the Husband picked him up, and the owner reiterated the story – and apparently seemed sad about it since they like him and he’s been going there for a year now, but quickly we started realizing – maybe he doesn’t love it as much as we thought. And maybe a place with that many dogs and no personal space isn’t the best place for him anyway, especially with his aloof shepherd qualities. And so I quickly found an alternative for boarding – a place actually closer to us that my Aunt brings her two dogs (who would also be boarded at the same time since she and my uncle were coming to the same wedding). In the end Bentley had his own kennel and run, and was taken out twice a day to play with his Westie cousin dogs, and walked by the Mom and daughter who own the place. He got rave reviews and came home happy and exhausted.

In terms of a daycare – I think we are realizing – maybe he doesn’t need 3+ days of daycare a week. Instead, we have found a new place that he is doing a trial at today, also closer to home, where we can bring him if he likes it maybe 1x a week just to get his zoomies out and keep him socialized. I was completely honest with the woman about what happened at the previous daycare and so they will begin with “day boarding” – where he gets his own room, toys, and will be taken out on 5 short walks a day and will meet dogs one by one through a fence or in the play yard if they see it as a good fit. If he enjoys being around the other dogs, then he will join playtime with a maximum group of 7 dogs with the same temperament. All dogs have “nap/quiet time” in their own rooms from 12:30-2:30 which I think is a good break for him anyway. So we’ll see how it goes. Overall reducing his daycare will save us a couple hundred a month!

I have to admit, one of the best things about keeping him home – while it makes me feel bad that he sits in the house on my non WFH days from about 11am-6pm alone – is that the Husband and I are actually spending more quality time with him. He used to come home from daycare so utterly exhausted he would go up to the bed and sleep. Now we play more outside (he loves to sprint through the yard, but only if we are outside watching), we’re doing tricks and training again at night – lots of puzzles, he seems to enjoy being in the house more and is almost always by our sides, and he’s already being a bit more social with people when they come over. It only takes about 10-15 minutes of sprints outside to completely exhaust him, something I can easily do in the mornings before work and at night when I get home. To be honest, I forgot how much fun I have when we play and do training, and most of the time, he seems content to just be around us.

I’m going through a strange phase at work. One minute I’m pushing hard, focused, and getting so much done (I think preparing to be out) and then moments of pure impatience, frustration with little things, and just wanting to get to the point where I’m going out on leave. I know I will want to go out feeling like I got everything I could done, so I need to spend the next few weeks really focusing on work.

I’m also going through a phase where I really want to make an effort to make plans and spend time with friends and family while I can – but more specifically – positive people who also make an effort too. I’m sort of tired of trying so hard when it’s not reciprocated or leaving hangouts feeling negative or mentally exhausted and drained, especially when I have some new (well not new, but not my regular core group) making a good effort to see me. I have dinner with a handful of girlfriends this Wednesday, dinner with two old college friends who I don’t see often but one is about a month behind me in her pregnancy, on Thursday, a full day of brunch and my sister’s dance show on Saturday with my Mom, my Mother-in-law, Sister-in-law and two family friends, then mid next week dinner with my old boss and coworker. I’m also trying to keep some time free on weekends for organizing and cleaning in preparation of the baby. The Husband and I also have a full Saturday birthing class coming up, as well as a night where we tour/go through the practice triage process in the hospital, a friend’s birthday that I’m hoping to spend some time with her celebrating, my baby shower later this month (with a few college friends making it a big girls sleepover weekend – the highlight of my month!), and more. I think January is going to fly by!

Funny story, the Husband and I had a wedding down in Baltimore over New Year’s Eve. It was actually so fun, even at 8 months pregnant and sober, and I loved getting all the extra family time for the few days (with moments of course of I NEED SPACE). My cousin, who was the one getting married, actually shares a friend with B (yes, that B). Ironically, this friend and his wife are pregnant, so my cousin sat them at our table, also with my sister and cousins. Somehow they ended up sitting right next to the Husband. I didn’t actually put two and two together until halfway through dinner – and I never said anything to him or anyone about it. What is sort of funny about it though is that there were SO many glasses on the table (4 per person, plus any glasses people brought with their own drinks from the bar) so when the husband sat down at one point he hit a champagne glass that went flying and COVERED this guy (he might as well have thrown it directly in his face). He took it very nicely, and I could tell the Husband felt so bad (but at 230lbs, 6’3 and a regular bull in a china shop he just can’t be near that many glasses). I have no idea if he connected who I was, but hopefully he doesn’t think it was on purpose. Well, actually I don’t really care as I’ll never see them again. 😉

My dreams lately when I do sleep, are crazy. I think my fears and anxieties are coming into play in my sleep because I have had countless dreams of fighting with friends, including a fist fight with my best friend from home (which is hilarious to think about in real life because it would never, ever happen). A number of dreams and scenarios of the Husband either cheating on me (and me seeing it, ugh) or him not paying attention to me and me feeling really sad and alone. It doesn’t take much to see what my dreams are getting at, but man I wish they would stop. As it is I’m practically an insomniac at this point and when I do sleep, to wake up feeling like crap after a dream like that really isn’t fun.

Somehow over the Holiday time off the Husband and I watched 4 movies. Gone Girl, the Good Lie, the Equalizer and This is Where I leave You. I read Gone Girl so had been dying to see it, but as always the case, it just wasn’t as good as the book. I swear in the book they did a better job of making you hate them equally, while in the movie, you have far more hate towards the wife. The Husband also figured out the plot far earlier than I did in the book – be it his detective skills or the hints were just easier to pick up on. The Good Lie was a great movie, based off the Lost Boys from Sudan and it definitely made us remember how damn lucky we are in America and with what we have. The Equalizer was silly – the Husband liked it because it was Denzel and it was a revenge type of movie – it was predictable but entertaining. This is Where I Leave You was my favorite and just my type of movie. The kind that is a little dark, funny, makes you laugh/cry and sort of is just an honest look at regular life and being an adult.

I think from now on I may just write more. My posts may not be put together, grammatically correct, or even make any coherent sense – but I miss writing so much. I miss pouring out my thoughts, memories and experiences even if they are just for me to reread one day.

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I can’t believe I’m into my third trimester of pregnancy already. I swear, sometimes I feel like time is just flying.

At 29 weeks and 2 days (7 months, 1 week and 2 days) pregnant I’m…

Feeling pretty good still. Although for the first time I’m starting to really feel pregnant. My stomach feels expanded, my left rib hurts, my back is sore and I’m falling asleep on the couch by 10pm every night but then waking up with crazy insomnia.

Loving the kicking and movement. As strange as it is (it really is odd at first) it’s been fun to share the movement with everyone else. The Husband can feel it at night when we’re sitting on the couch and she seems to be the most active and riled up. Sometimes she even keeps me from falling asleep because I swear she’s doing jumping jacks.

As excited, and happy and blessed as I feel and truly can’t wait to meet her I’m having these crazy strange nostalgic moments. Like sometimes I get almost sad thinking, it’ll never be just Husband and myself again (ha, or Husband, myself and Bentley). I’m also having these (more so fleeting) thoughts of I’ll never quite get to schedule things the way I want anymore – like just going to a flywheel class when I want to, or staying late at work. I know it’ll all work itself out and we will create a new normal, just like with Bentley, but it is interesting to go through this set of emotions too.

Also, I never even posted about the amazing babymoon weekend we took to Stowe, Vermont. If I could recommend one thing to do during pregnancy, this would be it. Let’s just say it was a lot of eating, sleeping and just relaxing and it was magical.

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I’m also going through what I imagine is more nesting. Which I L-O-V-E. Hello can I just be that productive all the time? I hammered out 72 Christmas cards just because I HAD to the other night. I am constantly organizing, purging, cooking and cleaning and slowly feeling like things in the house have a place, and I love everything that’s actually in the house. The only struggle I’m facing now is that with being more tired the last week or so, it’s hard to do all the things I want (need in my mind) to do.

I experienced my first cold while sick and that was probably the most brutal thing ever. Everything hurt, and not being able to take a darn thing was really frustrating.

To be honest I’m also getting a little scared. Scared that I have no control over when I’ll actually have her. For all I know I could go early in the next 6 weeks – but then I could be late and that means I still have 11 weeks left! Scared that being out of work for a few months will make it hard to return – like I won’t be as good at my job anymore. Scared that I won’t get to see my friends as much and miss out on a lot of things. Scared that I’ll become one of those Moms that only wants to talk about babies, and baby things, and gives up her life. I know that’s not me and who I am, but I can’t fathom what this all will be like. I’m scared that I’ll go crazy with too much family time and help after her birth (everyone keeps scheduling trips and planning times to stay with us and help but didn’t really ask us what help is needed, and add in that the Husband’s parents want to stop by daily…) I know I can’t picture it and maybe I’ll appreciate the help but all I can envision is not getting a second alone with my daughter, bleeding out of many orifices, and trying to walk around half-naked to feed my child and then there are people…everywhere.

I’m scared that Bentley will feel so out-of-place. I’m so tired of people saying once we have this baby he will just become a dog or we’ll “forget about him” because I can promise you, we won’t. I love that dog fiercely and while I know he isn’t my child, whether it’s difficult or not – that dog is part of our family and will always have a place with us. Maybe not as big of a place in our bed though…

MUST be squished between us. (He appears much smaller than his 60lb body actually is.)

MUST be squished between us. (He appears much smaller than his 60lb body actually is.)

And truthfully, I’m most scared of messing her up. I constantly watch women and girls now – I can see these glaring insecurities, jealousies, unhappiness, and unfavorable traits and how do you make sure not to do something that will totally mess up your child’s life and cause issues like that? What if I say or do one thing, and it spirals into an eating disorder, or a need for the wrong attention? What if the Husband isn’t as active as I want and that takes a toll on her, and one that unfortunately I can’t fill because she needs her Daddy.

Somehow though, even among the fears and discomfort, it all just feels so right now, more than ever. I just cannot wait to start this chapter of our lives.

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Dear Daughter,

About 5 hours ago your Daddy and I sat with a technician while we watched you dance on-screen. I’m not trying to be cute when I say that, you were moving about so much the technician said you made her dizzy.

We heard how beautiful and healthy you were. We heard you are already a dancer.

And then she announced. “Here are the little girl parts – you’re having a girl!”

I immediately smiled. See this morning, I walked into your nursery and stood there, looking around, and just knew. I can’t explain it, but I knew you were a little girl.

I knew though that your Dad might be a bit shocked. He was so sure you were a boy. I slowly turned to look at him after the announcement, a little hesitant and that’s when I saw it. Tears and a smile. Pure joy. And last night when we got home, he pulled your ultrasound pictures down from the fridge and looked at them again. That’s when I saw him crying, not just tears, I’m talking shoulder shaking sobs. I must have looked perplexed at him and that’s when he said, “One day I will have to dance with her and give her away at her wedding.” And then I found myself sobbing too.

See I already, and he already knows, you’ll be Daddy’s princess. I know he will give you anything and everything. For all that your Dad is testosterone and football obsessed, he is a big mush. All you’ll have to do is look at him and he’ll give you the world. (Not to be confused with being able to get away with things, sorry, he’s already talking about putting a GPS tracker in (yes in) you.)

I know in many ways, whether I like it or not, you’ll be a mini-me. A more beautiful, smarter, and just all around more awesome version of course.

I know that there are fears I had about having a girl that I’ll have to work through.

I know one day there will be a boy. And you will try to sneak out of the house to see him, or you’ll question when and how much of yourself to give him. I know one day you’ll experience heartbreak – and while it’s worth experiencing – everything inch of my being hurts thinking about you hurting.

I know I want you to feel beautiful – inside and out. Never do I want you worrying about your weight, your social status, or other’s harsh words. No matter what, please remember, you are beautiful, you are smart and you are important.

My dear daughter, we already love you more than words can describe. We can’t wait for your arrival and in the meantime, you better believe we’re stocking up on the most adorable baby girl clothing ever.

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18 Weeks

Ok seriously, second trimester is amazing. I don’t feel pregnant, and aside from my growing tummy – I feel absolutely great! I know I need to enjoy this before I hit the final few months!

Weight gained:
+3lbs or so (plus whatever I gained in the first 9 weeks that the doctor wasn’t tracking yet). I think around 7-8lbs total now. I honestly have stopped weighing myself or caring. I plan to eat healthy(ish) and intuitively and I’ll gain what I need to gain to have a healthy pregnancy.

Workouts:
Mostly walks. On our Cape vacation and since, I try to go for at least a 2 mile walk each day. It definitely helps to energize me.

Symptoms:
Honestly, I feel fantastic. So much so that I keep forgetting I’m pregnant – a lot of times I don’t feel pregnant (which is scary). The only symptoms that I really notice are:

Fatigue – by a certain point at night I get really tired. If I push past and stay up, that’s when I don’t feel well (11pm = headache, cramping, mood swings, etc.)

Bleeding gums – when I brush my teeth or eat an apple…

Stuffy nose – It’s not awful, but it’s definitely slightly stuffy all the time.

Hunger – my appetite is back and if I don’t eat consistently, I get pretty hungry, then a stomach-ache, then I start to feel sick.

Growing chest – went from my baby B cup to a full on C cup.

Food Aversions:
Not many really. I actually thought I would crave alcohol and certain foods this  past weekend while at a wedding with friends, but it’s sort of the opposite. For the most part my body doesn’t want what it shouldn’t have. The idea of runny eggs, beer, brie, and sushi make my stomach turn a bit.

Food Cravings:
Tuna salad with pickles and plain potato chips. Which is slightly annoying because I’m trying to limit my intake due to mercury contents.

Bagels with cream cheese.

Sleep:
I can’t get enough lately. I’m starting to have to get up once in a while during the night, but for the most part, I’m sleeping well. (However, I don’t sleep if I’m not sleeping home. For whatever reason, if I sleep elsewhere – hotel, friend’s house, whatever – I maybe sleep 2-3 hours total.) Plus lots and lots of super vivid (and sometimes creepy) dreams though. I’m getting to a point where waking up at 6amish is really hard (although once I’m up, I’m up).

Miss Anything?
My old wardrobe, haha. Seriously though, the new chest is a little frustrating because while I can wear most of my flowy shirts, they are starting to pull in the chest area in funky ways. Time for more maternity clothes.

Fun and/or Interesting Things from the Week:
I heard the baby’s heartbeat last Monday which is always wonderful.

Happy or moody most of the time:
Happy, so very happy. Well except if I’m up past 11pm then I’m just cranky.

New Baby Items:
So much nursery decor! My mom bought us the changing table, the cutest elephant lamp, elephant bedding, and a glider. My friend helped me to put up the birch tree decals on one of the walls and the Husband and I hung up the chevron curtains. It’s coming together!

Looking Forward To:
Our fetal anatomy scan – TODAY. Truthfully, yes, I’m so excited to find out the gender, but really, I just want to hear we have a healthy baby. I have this underlying worry that I know won’t go away until we hear that baby is healthy and a-OK.

The husband and I plan to ask for them to write it in an envelope so that we can find out together privately. Then we are inviting our parents and siblings over on Sunday for a gender reveal party. I’m so excited.

I think for me, I want to connect more with the baby. Right now, even though I couldn’t be happier to be pregnant, I don’t really believe it. I don’t feel like there’s a baby inside me. Somehow I just know, by knowing the gender, and calling baby by his/her name (secretly since we aren’t telling names!) will just help me connect more.

I have to also say… finding out the gender today will be the biggest surprise of my life. For 18 weeks I have wondered what baby is, but I honest to God have no idea. It will be the most real surprise I’ll ever have. If I had to guess, even though all along mostly everyone, including myself, thought boy – I’m oddly leaning towards girl now? We shall see!

 

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13 weeks

Umm hello second tri! I thought time would go by so slowly, but at the same time, it’s going by rather quickly. When I say I  only have 26 weeks and 5 days left it sounds so crazy! I really wanted to write a lot more, but over the past 5 weeks we have moved, I’ve gone to one wedding, three bridal showers, two bachelorettes, an engagement party,  celebrated the birthday of my best friend from home by driving to Connecticut to meet her for a day, multiple social dinners, and crazy work projects – including at least one night a week still of 3 hours of Tokyo calls. So when I feel guilty about not unpacking, exercising or getting things done – I remember that life has been crazy.   

Weight gained:
+1lb. Overall at 13 weeks and 3 days I have gained a total of about 5lbs. Apparently now I should also be gaining about .5-1lb weekly (via nutritious foods).

Workouts:
Ha. I keep saying how much I’d love to swim and get some exercise in but…it hasn’t happened.

Symptoms:
Extreme fatigue. In the past few weeks it went from feeling less energized to holy crap, a wave of exhaustion hits and I.cannot.function. I leave the house by 7:30 and work until 5pmish, take the train out to pick up Bentley from daycare, then get home around 6:30pm and sometimes it takes everything in me to eat dinner before I crawl onto the floor and just lay there.

Pregnancy brain… or the baby is actually eating my brain. I mean I was legit convinced one day we had a time change and I needed to add an hour onto my google maps direction time. Yeah, not accurate.

The nausea has definitely started to subside  – hallelujah!

One new symptom over the past weekend was an awful headache that lasted a solid 2 days. I’d really like to not have one of those again.

Oh and I’m still an emotional sap, even worse than before. Tears are expected at least once a week.

Food Aversions:
Woohoo my appetite is coming back, sort of! I still don’t like to think about making food, and actually thinking too much about food in general sort of turns me off. The idea of eggs – especially runny eggs, burgers, meat not cooked enough – like rare steak, heavy/creamy/rich foods makes me feel a bit ill.

Food Cravings:
Fresh fruit (especially cut up in cereal with cold milk), cottage cheese, chocolate milk, grilled corn (had with dinner last night and omg, I want a hundred more ears)

Sleep:
Sleep hasn’t been great the past few days especially, but because of festivities and painting, I haven’t slept at home too much and honestly, just need a good night’s sleep in my own comfy bed.

Miss Anything?
A lot of things I can’t have…spicy tuna roll, Brie, caffeine (i.e. not worrying about drinking an iced tea, coffee, etc.)

Fun and/or Interesting Things from the Week:
This morning I went in for another check-in with my midwife and I got to hear Baby’s heart beat again (now at about 150bpm) and it’s so unbelievably amazing to hear that heart racing. I couldn’t help but cry again.

Happy or moody most of the time:
I’m starting to feel more like myself! Happy and excited! However, after 8pm or while driving – just stay away, far, far away.

New Baby Items:
Nursery décor! The room itself is painted a gray color and I ordered white birch tree decals from Etsy to go up on one wall, chevron gray and white curtains, and just bought a few cute gray and white elephant baskets. My Mom also bought me the softest, cutest gray elephant with a pink ribbon (came with and she said we can always replace but hmm, foreshadowing?)

My friend from college also bought me a baby book journal and I really want to start documenting in there!

Looking Forward To:
Finding the gender! Ok really now, I just want to know. I am at a point where I don’t care but I want to plan and start calling the baby he or she and connecting with the baby more. We are finding out now on September 23rd and the wait is killing me. It’s kind of entertaining how split people are on what we are having and how sure some people are! My sisters are dead set that it’s a boy, my Mom goes back and forth, Husband says boy, a few friends say boy yet a few say girl, and I just don’t know. I really thought boy – mainly because while I have been nauseous I never got super sick, but deep down I could see imagine that it may be a girl. My psychic Aunt says “maybe a girl, but you will have one of both either way” – so yeaaaah, whatever that means. I’m looking forward to sharing the news in a fun way  (not sure how yet)…

I’m also looking forward to getting more of a bump! I just started to pop a little bit, and my clothes are fitting funny (between the chest and tight tummy area) so it really is time to start putting away some of my tighter wardrobe pieces.  I feel like people aren’t sure yet if they can say anything, or some wouldn’t quite notice – so I am oddly excited to really show!

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My biggest fear was that time would pass so slowly during the first trimester. While the days can sometimes feel long, the weeks are flying by. I don’t know if it’s the combination of just being so busy – between buying the house, work and so many social activities – or if this is just normal.

On Monday at just over 9 weeks we had our second ultrasound and it was probably the most incredible thing I have ever seen. Actually hearing that fast little heart beat – nothing compares. It’s the most amazing and magical thing. I still can’t believe it’s all real, and I’m just feeling so weepy and blessed since. I mean WE’RE HAVING A BABY!

Anyway…

Weight gained:
-1lb since last weigh-in, so about 3-4lbs overall. Pretty sure it’s still constipation unfortunately. In the morning my pants fit, by evening they are too tight, then back to fitting – all depending on the time of day!

Workouts:
Lots of walking around, packing and cleaning. I’m counting it because seriously, by evening time I’m usually taking a nap I’m so drained.

Symptoms:
“Morning sickness” for me is really night sickness. It seems that like clockwork around 4:00pm each day I start to feel extra queasy, tired, and SO irritable. It’s almost comical how I go from feeling sort of OK to a crazy person. I’m trying to just take it easy in the evenings as much as I can, and I’m thankful I’m at least productive at work but I’m looking forward to getting past this one.

I hope this isn’t a new symptom but lately, I fall dead asleep around 10pmish then BAM around 1-3am I wake up…and I can’t fall back asleep. I spent 3 hours awake the last few nights watching crappy tv and trying to get tired and it was so frustrating.

Oh and I’m weepy as hell. Pretty much any commercial, conversation, or song about love, babies, animals – you can expect tears. And not like a few tears, I’m talking choking sobs.

Food Aversions:
Up until yesterday I was not loving food. It was really frustrating because if I don’t eat I get nauseous but most things sounded yucky and if I cook it, I will not eat it. I don’t want meat, eggs, really anything…

I also haven’t even had decaf coffee, I think I want it then I grab some and I can’t drink it.

As of this morning, (please don’t jinx myself) I am sort of feeling more like myself. Energized, not overly queasy, and happy. I ate a bowl of raisin bran with banana happily, and I’m just crossing my fingers the nausea peaked and it’s on its way out.

Food Cravings:
Finally I’m having a few very intense cravings:
Peaches and plums. I had a peach yesterday and it was the best thing I have had in a while and I plan on going back and buying a dozen more.
Burger King Chicken Sandwiches. I wish this wasn’t true, but for a few days it was the ONLY thing I wanted. I finally caved and had one and omg, it was unbelievable. It’s taking all my willpower not to get another.
Chocolate milk. Finally had some yesterday and it was amazing and the easiest way for me to get my daily milk in when I’m not feeling cereal.
Tuna sandwiches with plain potato chips. My doctor said it’s OK to do one can or packet a week (max) so I plan on having one today.

Sleep:
Naps, insomnia, fatigue – it goes in circles.

Miss Anything?
Same as always – turkey sandwich and coffee (or the act of drinking coffee if that makes sense).

Fun and/or Interesting Things from the Week:
We announced! After our last ultrasound the doctor confirmed that our risk of miscarriage is as low as it’s going to get and nothing magically changes or reduces that risk between now and second tri so to go ahead and announce. Ahhh, it was SO MUCH FUN to finally tell everyone and hear reactions and just be open about it. Now I can be honest about how I’m feeling and all these things going on in my head!

Happy or moody most of the time:
If I’m being honest, I’m mostly sort of moody, especially at night. I know it’s hormones and fatigue, so I’m just trying to give myself a break and stay positive. Today I feel really positive, excited and happy!

New Baby Items:
Books! What to expect when you’re expecting, and What to expect in the first year.

Looking Forward To:
Finding out the gender. While we will be so happy with either (we truly just want a healthy baby) I can’t stop trying to guess. Right now, Husband thinks it’s a boy (I think he secretly prefers a boy, or really, he’s just terrified of having a girl and having to deal with boyfriends, haha) and my older sister thinks it’s a boy. My best friend from home thinks it’s a girl. I really don’t know. Part of me thinks it’s a boy (because of my dream, and the lack of other symptoms) but then deep down I’m wondering if it’s a girl (since I come from a family of a lot of girls). We will actually find out on the Husband’s 30th birthday, September 26th.

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6 and 7 weeks

I keep meaning to write but with so much going on I just keep losing track of time. Anyway, I wanted to capture the last two weeks, but warning, TMI alert!

Weight gained:
5lbs. Boo, but my midwife assured me it’s constipation at this point.

Workouts:
Still hardly any with the exception of walks. I really want to incorporate exercise back in but between work being insane, closing on the house, and social activities…I’m so drained!

Symptoms:
Early last week I woke up in the middle of the night to projectile vomit and spent the full day after extremely nauseous. Surprisingly it went away, and since then I sometimes feel queasy, but I thank my lucky stars there hasn’t been any more puking.

Otherwise…bleeding gums, cramps, itchy nipples, very light brown spotting (confirmed as leftover implantation bleeding), feeling full after hardly eating anything, crazy gas pains and constipation… pregnancy makes you feel *awesome*

But I will say, my skin is completely clear – not a blemish!

Food Aversions:
Pretty much everything. This is always when I realize that I am in fact still queasy because nothing sounds appealing, even when I’m starving.

Food Cravings:
Carb city! Bagels, mozzarella sticks, and toast with peanut butter.

Sleep:
For the most part, sleep has been fantastic. I’m sleeping 7-8 hours a night, and sleeping soundly. Mmm, sleep.

Miss Anything?
Deli turkey. I can’t stop thinking about having a deli turkey, provolone, shredded lettuce and mayo sandwich on a bulky hard roll. Lunch is the hardest meal of the day by far.

Fun and/or Interesting Things from the Week:
Towards the end of last week we had our first ultrasound at 6 weeks and 5 days! We saw our little nugget and his/her fetal heart rate is 135bpm! Apparently all looks good so this really has helped put our minds at ease.

Then at 7 weeks 1 day I had my first prenatal appointment with my midwife. She is so wonderful. We talked for almost 1.5 hours and she reviewed all the can and can’t dos along with questions/concerns/next steps. We did all my blood work (all good) and she confirmed my uterus has basically doubled in size.

 

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Fetal heart rate of 135bpm

Happy or moody most of the time:
While I am still so incredibly happy and blessed (and feeling lucky because I could be feeling so much worse), it seems that after 5pm my energy plummets and the more I have to do the more irritable I get. After a 12 hour day on Tuesday (when we closed) and endless running around, I was so cranky and mean to the husband – but it felt so uncontrollable. I’ve never felt so drained, mentally and physically before.

New Baby Items:
A nursery! Nothing is in it, but now that we bought a house, we have a designated nursery! I already have the theme and color scheme picked out…

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Looking Forward To:
Our 9 week ultrasound on July 21st and hearing everything is ok and then TELLING PEOPLE! My midwife seemed to think it was safe to tell people after that ultrasound (if we felt comfortable) so I think we may tell a few more people (family and friends) and then we’ll “announce” it at closer to 12 weeks.

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