Posts Tagged ‘random’

Tuesday afternoon I treated myself to a prenatal massage. I was a little nervous not knowing exactly what to expect and if it would be comfortable or not and was surprised to see that I was still lying face down for the first part – just on top of a bunch of pillows with a sort of belly area in the middle. The first half of the massage was pretty good, although without her being able to put pressure on my lower back (where my pain is right now) it was less pain/muscle soreness reducing and more relaxing. About 20 minutes in, I was practically in a sleep state when I felt the softest flutter in my stomach. The only way to explain it is like butterfly wings moving down the inside my stomach for just a second. In my head I immediately thought, oh my God I feel the baby, but seeing as this is my first, wasn’t really sure. The massage continued on, and while I love a good massage, I’ll be honest and say I’m not sure it was worth the money in the end. Anyway, last night as I was going to bed, about 20 minutes after trying to fall asleep and just lying there, the flutter happened again. Just once, and so softly, but I swear I felt it. I don’t think I have felt it since though…

Tuesday night while Husband and I were grilling dinner (buying that grill has been the best purchase ever) I was playing with Bentley. At one point I had a stick in my hand and was pretending to throw it so he was running while looking at me and BAM into the deep end (10 feet deep) of the pool he fell. Now I know what everyone is thinking – dogs can swim – all dogs can swim – but I swear mine can’t. We have tried to get him to slowly go into ponds, oceans, etc. and he’ll wade but whenever he gets deep he sort of panics and thrashes versus swimming. So he fell in and I immediately went over to see him bobbing under and above water with his butt and back legs completely sinking. I pulled him out and he shook himself off and then went playing along and…I cried. He’s shown no interest in the pool but the idea of him falling in really freaks me out. The next warm day I’m taking a page from Caesar Milan and getting in the pool with him and showing him how to get out via the steps at the shallow end. Last night he kept trying to get out of the side but the water isn’t high enough, and I worry after 10 minutes of that … who knows.

I’m loving our house. I still don’t quite feel settled or unpacked by any means, but the progress between the renovations being done and the painting is amazing.

I’m ridiculously into the show Big Brother. It’s a show that has apparently been on for like 10+ years and I have never once watched an episode until this year and somehow I found myself hooked. It’s so stupid and silly and yet… it’s the one summer show I’m watching.

When we got married and got all our wedding presents, aside from gifts cards, rather than take them to our apartment at the time, we kept them at my in-laws. We have just started bringing them all over to our house and OMG it’s like Christmas! All new dishes, pots, pans, grill set, pillows, and more.

Tall decaf non-fat cappuccino with one pump cinnamon dulce…oh my word delicious. My new favorite drink that I can pretend is caffeinated.

I am finally starting to feel like a human again. Happy, energized, excited, and (mostly) non-nauseated!

90’s on 9 (satellite radio) or Spotify best of the 90’s playlist = sure fire way to find me singing and dancing as I apparently know the lyrics of every damn 90’s song.

This is my first weekend in months that I am home, I have minimal plans (aside from a shopping date with a friend and my first haircut in 7 months). TGIF.

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I went to my running class this morning. Getting up at 5:35am just doesn’t get easier, and even with the beautiful morning view, I still found myself wanting to head back to bed. Half the class I kept using “Starbucks” as my mantra to get through the sprints and rolling hills. By the end of the class I felt a hundred times better. More awake and alive than I’ve felt in days.

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Speaking of Starbucks I just tried a non-fat gingerbread latte. Absolutely disgusting. I don’t know why I do this. I love coffee, chai and once in a while a peppermint mocha or caramel macchiato. Anything else, is either too sweet or just gross to me. I’m trying to choke it down since I spent over $4 on the thing.

The past week I have felt exhausted. I’m talking can’t keep my eyes open past 8pm, with cranky moods and just groggy like I could nap anywhere at any time. I’m wondering if it’s a bit of a coffee withdrawal. During my week staycation I was drinking 3 LARGE coffees a day since I didn’t care what time I went to bed. I’ve cut it back down to 1-2. Also the latest I have slept in weeks happened this past weekend…that time would be 6:40am. I miss sleep.

I feel like I’m on the brink of change or in need of creating some goals again. On the 26th I’ll turn 29 and I just feel like I want to accomplish something in the last years of my 20s. Yeah, I complain about how crazy life is and then as soon as it settles into a routine, I want more. Typical.

I saw an acquaintance on Facebook who (my age) just completed an Ironman. Aside from how incredible I think she is, I’m flat out jealous. I’m jealous she had the balls to do it, to train like that and from what she showed – gave up free time, extracurricular activities, alcohol, etc. and I’m jealous she lives in Arizona/Colorado where training weather is much more stable than New England. I’m jealous she had the drive to get up some mornings at 3am to train and I complain about 5:35am wake-up. Man, 2.4 mile swim, 112 mile bike ride, and 26.2 marathon sounds insane. It makes me want a goal again so badly. But it also reminds me why I honestly stopped doing triathlons. The part I liked and excelled at the most, the bike, became my biggest fear. In the last tri I did two summers ago, I witnessed a horrific bike crash that to this day I don’t know if the guy lived (I’ve tried to Google many times) and it just has put a fear in me that I can’t seem to let go.

To be honest, I really want to have some kind of fitness goal, and I get excited about potential races or opportunities. But then I think about how the Husband and I really might start trying to have kids come the new year… and how does that work? I just don’t know yet. Again, I feel like I’m in this weird waiting period.

I had a dream last night that I had a flesh eating disease. It was so vivid and graphic. At one point I kissed a guy on the cheek and then seconds later just his bone was showing. Then I went to talk to my Mom and old Director and I couldn’t get the words out and instead a surge of grey flesh shot out of my mouth. Like seriously, who has dreams like this? And why must I remember them?

I took Bentley on a 2 mile off leash hike over this past weekend with 7 other dogs. He was so incredibly well behaved, stayed close by, and kept “checking” in with me every once in a while. To say he had a ball is an understatement. He was almost comatose he was so tired afterwards which was honestly, nice for a change. He probably hated us however when we ended up at the emergency vet because of a tick half still in him (failed attempt at getting him out) and as new puppy parents not realizing that ticks usually die and get pushed out by their skin. Yay for spending $120 on future advice.

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My team at work may be asked to pilot “sharing space”. For example, if there are 8 of us, having only 3 workstations and rotating days to be in the office. I think I’m the only one who absolutely hates the idea. Sure I love working from home one day a week, hell maybe even two if needed – but more than that? 50% of my day is meetings and to do it remotely (while the rest of the project team is sitting in a conference room or on a video conference together) and building relationships via the phone or gotomeeting? Not my preference. Everyone will probably hate me for asking, but I’ll probably be the exception if they push this on us. I’ll work two days a week from home, but I just can’t do more than that. For my own sanity, for my Husband’s who needs to sleep during the day and for the sake of my work.

Is it lame to say that I love going to Puppy Kindergarten each week with Bentley? Well, I love it. I love watching Bentley play with the other dogs (in particular the cutest Bernese Mountain dog ever) and it’s such a good way for him to learn new social and mental skills (and to train me). Class ends this weekend and I think I’m going to sign up to start taking him to Wednesday night “Good Manners” classes that start in January.

Tomorrow, as in November 20th, is a date that used to give me a pit in my stomach. It’s the date that in 2009 I went with my friend V to see the second Twilight movie. B was in California visiting an old camp friend. And in what was one of the most surprising turn of events, much later that night at almost 3am I was on the phone with B as we broke up, both crying into the phone. The day after I spent my 25th birthday celebration in a hotel with my best girlfriends, and I sobbed myself to sleep. My God how life has changed. That girl, (I’m re-reading posts from the start of my blog right now) never imagined she’d be where she is today. You just never know. I’m so thankful and happy for the way life has turned out.

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It’s no secret the past few weeks have been exhausting, hectic, chaotic and draininggg. But the end of this past week everything came together and I’m feeling good. Really, really good. And so something Danielle said recently on my post made me realize, I do want to start documenting these good moments too.

…My favorite Turkey (my husband, a long weird inside joke we now have) looked at me the other night and said, “we’re just so happy here. It feels like home.”  🙂

…A nice long evening with two of my girlfriends, reminding me how much I love and cherish my girl time.

…A call with my two childhood best friends talking about a potential Mexico trip this December. After 20 years, and living long-distance from each other for the past 8 years, those two are still my besties.

…A series of awful, no good, very bad work days that finally resulted in everything coming together, getting done, and getting on track before setting my out of office and leaving at end of day Friday.

…Getting a haircut after almost 6 months. 4 inches gone, and my hair feels light, healthy and still long past my collarbone.

…Talking to a breeder up in Maine about getting a German Shepherd puppy this Fall/Winter.

…My new living room rug that was only $60 on sale from Overstock.com. I usually stick to neutrals  but I’m LOVING the extra color in this sunny place.


…Snuggling for an hour in bed this morning with Turkey after he came home from work, and before I got up for the day.




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This past Sunday the Husband and I went out to see my Grandfather and family for brunch. He’s doing better than expected, and it just meant so much to spend the morning with him. After we met up with his family for dinner. Then we had a few hours just the two of us at home before he went to work. It was one of the nicest days we have had in weeks. It was so good to finally have some time to really talk to each other, connect, and have some much-needed alone time.

We signed our new lease on Wednesday night. I’m so excited for this fresh start I could scream. Right around the corner from us is the cutest coffee shop and one delicious greek restaurant that we immediately hit up. Husband has already proposed Wednesday date night walks to greek dinner followed by homemade ice cream at the place next door. Yum.

I have another eye ulcer thing. I seriously need to talk to my doctor about laser or lasik (not really sure the difference). Every day I have some sort of contact issue – and it’s making me insane. The amount I spend on copays for eye drops, eye solution, contacts, etc. is probably far more than I’d spend on getting laser. It hurts right now just to blink. At least my eye doctor is in my work building so I’m seeing her today.

For about 14 weeks I have been tracking my workouts and about 11 of them I have had a consistent 4-5 days of working out. For weeks I didn’t see any difference in pounds (although, I did track a decrease in inches and 1.5% body fat drop). The past two weeks I have tried to be more conscious of my diet to see if that would make a difference. I started out the month by eating clean and the past two weeks I have tried to carb cycle (Chris Powell’s plan) while still eating as clean as possible most days. My Husband carb backloads and has long been a proponent of trying to play around with my carb intake to see if it would spike my metabolism. In essence it’s:

  • Eat 5 meals a day, 3 hours apart
  • Eat breakfast within 30 minutes of waking
  • On carb days, eat complex carbs as much as possible (i.e. whole grains, quinoa, brown rice, vs. white rice, white pasta, etc.)
  • Classic cycle (what I’m doing – I think there are other cycle options): Monday – low carb, Tuesday – high carb, Wednesday – low carb, Thursday – high carb, Friday – low carb, Saturday – high carb and Sunday – reward day.

It’s really early to say too much but I can say this so far: I finally pushed past my plateau losing another 3lbs, my food cravings have changed, and my energy has rocketed! I have been working out usually 4, sometimes 5 days a week while doing it.

A day of eats looks like this:

Low carb day example:
6am – egg whites, bell peppers, salsa on 1 piece of Ezekiel bread (only carbs at breakfast)
7am – workout
9am – Greek yogurt with blueberries and cinnamon or a shake with chocolate whey protein, peanut butter and water
12pm – turkey meatloaf with feta, peppers, onions and baby carrots on the side
3pm – celery with peanut butter or a handful of nuts and string cheese
6pm – grilled chicken over arugula, cherry tomatoes, goat cheese and a little honey mustard yogurt dressing

High carb day example:
6am – 1 egg, bell peppers, salsa on Ezekiel bread or English muffin
7am – workout
9am – oatmeal with peanut butter and strawberries
12pm – chicken salad (left-over grilled chicken with yogurt honey mustard) on an Ezekiel English muffin, baby carrots
3pm – larabar or banana and peanut butter
6pm – turkey meatloaf, salad and 3 small Yukon potatoes

Sunday – Reward day:
I have an additional 1,000 calories on top of my normal calorie intake to eat whatever I want. This past Sunday it was pizza and cupcakes. Probably not all that clean, but delicious!

The carb cycle process has changed my eating habits in a lot of ways. For one, I’m eating my first meal within 30 minutes of waking – which is tough, but apparently gets my metabolism and energy going. I used to get up by 6, head to the gym, take my classes from 7-8am, shower, and then at work eat breakfast around 9:30. Way too much time without food. Then I eat every 3 hours (or as close as possible to). It’s forcing me to eat more often, which has stopped my bingeing since I have a bad tendency to eat lunch at noon and then by the time I eat dinner at 7pm or later I’m so hungry I eat a day’s worth of calories just while making dinner.

However, it’s a ton of prep work on the weekend. This past weekend I made mini turkey meatloaf to get me through 2 lunches and 1 dinner. I packed up yogurt, berries, and all my snacks so I wouldn’t have excuses – all in all it was at least 2-3 hours of prep and cooking for the entire week. I think this weekend I’ll prep even more and grill chicken and other meats ahead of time to last for every lunch and dinner next week.

I’m also starting to crave strange things, like I used to hate tomatoes. Now I can’t stop eating the cherry cherub tomatoes and I actually wish I had a handful of them now.

I actually feel my best on low carb days. My stomach doesn’t feel bloated, I’m energized, I’m not lethargic at all and I just feel light and good. I also enjoy low carb days because my meals fill me up in a way I didn’t expect without carbs. I’m eating a ton of protein but I’m sure to mix in a little fat too (cheese, avocado, nuts, etc.). High carb days I still feel good, but I can definitely notice feeling a bit heavier and more tired in a sense. I’m trying to stick with Ezekiel products for now since they seem to sit well in my stomach.

I used to hate the idea of having to be restricted in any way shape or form of a diet. This feels different though. It’s sort of like the 80/20 rule (Sunday being a reward day which keeps me happy the whole week) and it’s really not that hard to have fewer carbs a few days a week. I was worried it would affect my running – but in the past two weeks – I’ve been running faster and stronger. I was also worried it would limit my going out to eat – but so far I have saved over $100 in buying breakfast and lunches at work and the two times I went out to eat that happened to fall on low-carb days – I chose big mixed green salads with grilled chicken, steak tips or the most delicious lamb from the Greek restaurant.

I’m beyond excited for this weekend. I actually have very little planned which makes me so happy. Tonight I’m heading home to see the Husband for a few hours before he heads to a law enforcement fitness fundraiser for the One Fund tomorrow. Tomorrow I’m getting my car inspected, then outlet shopping with a friend. Tomorrow night I plan on doing absolutely nothing but cozying up on the couch and watching a movie by myself. Sunday I plan on grocery shopping, prepping all my meals, and really starting to purge crap – clothing and extras. I do not want to move with so much crap.

I keep forgetting, but was reminded by a few recent blog posts that Google Reader is going away soon. I LOVE Google Reader and it’s how I read my blogs every day on the way to work. I need to find a good alternative but I keep pretending it’s not going away…

My eye hurts too much to even try to organize or cut down the boring brain dump I just wrote. Talk about one scattered post. TGIF.

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