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Posts Tagged ‘the townie’

This past weekend was a fun one, but in some ways it was a roller coaster of emotions.

Early in the week the Townie and I bought movie tickets online to see Friday’s showing of Bad Teacher.  Once we got to the theater we found out that Harry Potter had taken over all of the theaters and our movie had been cancelled. We ended up getting a refund AND a pair of free tickets to see a movie any time we want. Score.

Since the movie was cancelled the Townie and I headed to Target. I’m sponsoring a 5-year-old little girl going into Kindergarten so I needed to pick up a backpack, lunch bag, folders, crayons, etc. My favorite part of school was always the back-to-school shopping so it was really fun. Even though it was a mundane, silly little Friday night – the Townie and I both agreed we had so much fun together.

Saturday morning we headed to a diner for breakfast and then I asked if he would be interested in taking a walk through my area so I could take pictures with my Canon Rebel that has been sitting in its box for months.

The Townie then headed home to an engagement party and I attempted a quick run (a painful 2 miler) before I headed to my friend’s goodbye party. (She’s moving to Canada 😦 )

After a few hours there, I rushed home, showered and got ready for the Townie to pick me up. His sister had her bridal shower earlier that day and wanted us to stop by for a drink and the whole crowd from the engagement party he attended was planning on going out in Boston so we were meeting up with them.

We had a quick drink at his sister’s where she had about 25 people over. It’s been nice getting to know his sister since with B, I was so close to his sister. After we went to meet up with his friends. While I like the Townie’s friends a few of their girlfriends/fiances/wives aren’t exactly the nicest girls. The Townie is my age (26) so the significant others of his friends are all around my age but they seem pretty immature. But a few of them are miserable. I give people the benefit of the doubt, and I’ll be nothing but nice, but they can be really catty, mean, insecure and the opposite of welcoming with a new person in “the group”.

I’m trying my hardest not to let those girls get to me, but I haven’t dealt with “mean girls” in a long time. I just don’t have the patience for it. The rest of the night was fun, mostly because I was dancing around with the Townie (I danced he swayed) before we headed home where I devoured two slices of pizza that were bigger than my head.

Sunday morning I woke up feeling hung over. Too much sun, too much sugar, and way too much prosecco and vodka was not a good combination. I stayed in bed until 12:30pm when I had to go meet my friend S to swim for the first time in months.

As painful and uncomfortable as I felt, the swim somehow made me feel a bit better. Maybe the chlorine soaked up the alcohol. 😉 After a good amount of laps, we got on spin bikes for about 15 minutes before I spent a good 20 minutes stretching.

I got home in the afternoon with lots of plans to clean and organize my life. The hangover won. I napped on and off for a few hours, watched tv, and was back into bed early. I decided this morning that at least until training, I need to take a bit of a break from drinking. A glass of wine here and there is fine, but nights like Saturday night really left me useless yesterday. It also seems to mess with my mood a bit making me sensitive, depressed and lazy.

Today though, is the start to a good week. 🙂

*all of these photos were taken by me 🙂

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  • Wednesday night I finally hit up a spin class. The instructor wasn’t my favorite regular girl, but she was motivating (in a nutty way). I had to give her props when she motived me during Kelly Clarkson’s song, Since You’ve Been Gone. “Think about how free you feel after a bad breakup. Push through that! Push, push, push!”, “Now picture seeing that same person on the street, don’t you want your body to look like the bomb.com?” (Yes she really said that. I had to laugh and agree!)
  • After walking out of the spin class I ran into my kettlebells instructor. I had that highschool stomach dropping feeling where you cut a class and then your teacher sees you in the hallway.

 

  • Kettlebells instructor understood, and let me know he’d take over my personal training sessions that I had left over from boxing. He convinced me to have my first assessment session at 6:30am on Thursday morning.

 

  • I went to the first assessment. Kettlebells instructor is a serious master trainer. We have two strength training sessions (focusing on upper body and core) next week.
  • Last night the Townie and I walked to get sushi in a town about 1.5 miles away. We just had to get frozen yogurt for the long walk back. (Frozen yogurt twice in one day? Ideal!) I walked over 5 miles in total yesterday. I’m loving walking in this weather!
  • At about 11pm the Townie put on his police uniform…he was not going to work. 😉
  • It hit me today that if I could, I’d combine my two degrees and be an Anthropologist/Librarian that focuses completely on FOOD.

 

  • Tonight a friend from out-of-town flies in for a friend’s wedding shower tomorrow. I’m looking forward to a weekend of fun with friends, good food and good wine.

 

HAPPY FRIDAY!

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There’s something about exercising and eating health(ier) that just clears away all racing thoughts in my head and the chaos in my life. It’s like somehow, important things become more clear, and nagging negatives have solutions, or sometimes they just don’t seem to matter as much anymore.

One of the first things I noticed in the past few days of getting good sweat sessions and proper nutrition is I’m not tired. In fact, my insomnia is back, not the really bad kind with racing thoughts more so that I’m just awake. I know that’ll settle once my body starts getting more and more tired with the exercising but for now it’s a really nice feeling to wake up and think about the day versus thinking about when I’ll get to sleep next.

It’s also such a nice feeling to not feel so full and lethargic after eating. I’m noticing what and which foods makes me feel energized and full longer versus the crazy sugar bender I was on. (Don’t get me wrong, I’m not giving up sweets. However, balancing them with other foods does wonders for energy levels.)

I learned this week that I can go grocery shopping across from my job and just leave a week’s worth of breakfast and lunch stuff at work. I got myself a box of Kashi Heart to Heart toasted cereal and I actually only eat a portion or two for breakfast. Really that’s because my officemate is watching and continuously pouring additional bowls will get comments. Hey, whatever works.

It also keeps me from leaving my lunch in the fridge at home (happens once a week) or just not making something (also happens once a week). Instead I left a whole bag of stuff from Trader Joes – avocados, bread, string cheese, orange peppers, apple slices, Greek yogurt, watermelon, etc in our office fridge. I made sure to keep it in a sketchy Forever 21 bag in hopes that others won’t snatch things from it.

I’m learning how ridiculously small normal portions appear after my recent portions. 400-500 calories for each meal isn’t a lot when you start adding it all up. 2 slices of cheese pizza at almost 600 calories (had our reading buddy volunteer party today during lunch and pizza was the only option) but it is just not as filling as something like a chicken sausage omelet with a side of toast and veggies.

I’m getting back to my candle burning ways – slowly but surely. Yesterday after work I ran over to the gym, warmed up on the elliptical for 15 minutes, ran 2 miles, then walked the 1.5 miles home. I quickly made dinner then headed to my friend J’s house for Pretty Little Liars season premier (yes, I do watch that show. It’s embarrassing but we’re addicted) and got home around 11pm and chatted with the Townie before bedtime.

And somehow, my feelings for the Townie have become much more clear. I like him.  I really do. I find that when we spend a few nights apart my mind wanders to him. He’s just a positive, fun, weightless thought always in the back of my mind. It feels so refreshing. 🙂

wehearit.com

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When the Townie had previously mentioned that he had been interested in trying out Paleo or slightly varied version to see how fit he could be by the end of the summer, I jumped at the chance.

What better way to get my butt in gear, literally, then to have a solid support system with me? Especially since previously that solid support system was my partner in fatty foods and dessert crime.

I went into the bookstore during my lunch today originally to buy Paleo for Athletes or a Paleo cookbook. While I think the program is interesting (and I can see how it works) a different book screamed out to me.

I picked up Jillian Michael’s book, Making the Cut. She is by far my favorite, and most trusted athlete and trainer (waaah, come back to the Biggest Loser and kick Anna Kournikova’s ass!). I have to say, I don’t always think trainers know their facts, especially since who can when there’s so much contradictory information out there, but I truly trust Jillian. Plus she scares the fat outta me so even though it’s just her in book form, I can see myself actually following it.

Her book is focused on people who are already in decent to good shape but are looking to cut those last (10-20) pounds and really challenge themselves into the best shape they can be in. Already I’m hooked! It’s filled with the science behind it all, workouts and recipes. The one part that I’m not sure I can follow completely is no alcohol for 30 days. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a huge drinker but with a family mini-vacation coming up to Florida next week and a cape trip for the fourth of July, some alcohol will be consumed.

I also bought myself a personal food & fitness journal. It sounds silly but recently I’ve noticed that I actually forget or don’t even take into account the excess I eat that aren’t part of my meals or real snacks. A cookie from the kitchen at work, a handful of m&m’s, two handfuls of cereal, a few (big) bites of my leftovers while making dinner, etc. Basically I end up eating at least a full other meal during the day added on to my oversized portions.

I don’t know where the motivation is coming from, but I’m loving it. I’m ready to hit the gym after work before meeting with my friend S for dinner!

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The Townie and I spent this past weekend on the Cape. A weekend of long talks, great food, and many kisses ( 😉 )  was exactly what we needed.

Fish and chips, with a few clam fritters is a must on my first summer weekend. It was way too easy to be part of the clean plate club.

 
Saturday afternoon was ice cream, a mini golf game and then real a bucket of balls at the driving range. I won in mini golf before he showed off his 250 yard driving skills in golf. 

 
As soon as I saw this sign from the street I knew the weekend couldn’t go by without trying the famous Marylou’s. The girl working there explained that they actually dissolve whipped cream into some of the specialty iced coffees (hence why I now consider it crack coffee). I got a small White Chocolate iced coffee and it was delicious.

I'd buy this iced coffee daily if it were closer

 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
 

Wine, Stubb marinated and grilled steak tips, grilled veggie skewers and breadcrumb mac n cheese made for one ideal dinner.  
 
 
I think I have a new favorite grill master. 😉   

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The Townie and I have only been together for about 3 months. To be honest, it became too serious and too much, too fast. Rather than continuing to date and get to know each other, we were spending night after night together and focusing so much on future activities, that we weren’t living in the present.

For the past few days we weren’t quite right. I was feeling overwhelmed and he was feeling me pull away. Finally after a conversation last night, it seems like we’re both back on the same page. We’re going to get back to having fun and enjoying time with each other without it being so serious. This early on, it shouldn’t be about quantity, it should be about quality.

This weekend we’re headed for a mini getaway. We’re spending tonight through Sunday morning at a cape house that we scored for an awesome pre-season price. My hope is that it’ll be a relaxing weekend full of yummy food, beautiful weather, mini-golf, reading and just enjoying time away with each other.

*photo courtesy of weheartit.com

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The Townie and my relationship so far has been smooth sailing. For the most part we get along, we have fun and it’s just easy.

But over the weekend I started to feel myself question things.

Now there are two different types of concerns I have with him. The superficial ones, the ones which I know are because I’ve been single for a year and not used to sharing again. Like someone barging into the bathroom while I’m in it without knocking, or the constant chatting while I need some quiet time, or the feeling of having someone on top of you all.the.time.

I know that a lot of those are just adjustment issues. They could easily go away with a little communication.

But then there are the real issues. Can I see myself with this person still in 2 years? Deep down, I’m pretty sure the answer is no.

This past weekend, for an entire day he talked about the future. We could do this, and we can do that, and on and on. But somehow we just couldn’t hold a conversation about anything current. I can’t talk to him for hours the way I did with others. We don’t have that connection.

I feel like certain people bring out the best qualities in you. They challenge you, sometimes without them knowing, to be a better you. Maybe that means listening more, or being more thoughtful, or trying new activities, or learning to stand on your own feet. And there are definitely people out there who do the opposite. They can bring out the worst in you, they become party buddies, or gossipers, or negative and try to bring you down too. However, you still learn from them and you learn about yourself.

But there’s an in between those too. In the beginning the Townie forced me in a way to look past judgements and stereotypes. But now that we’re past that, it just is. I don’t feel overly excited or ambitious in our relationship. I don’t feel like I want to push myself to learn new things, or be active, or dress up each time we see each other. On the other hand I can see my influence on him, maybe too much so. I say I might go to church, he wants to go to church, I say I want this for dinner, he wants that for dinner.

I know the comparing game is dangerous, and trust me, there are qualities in B that I never want in my next relationship. But now I see qualities that I think I need. I need someone I can sit and talk to for a long car drive. I need someone who supports me while still pushing me to be the best me. I want the relationship to grow (and understand there will be growing pains). I just need someone who brings something into the relationship.

So I guess the question is, where do I go from here? We have a weekend away together this weekend. I am looking forward to it and would still like to go.

But at what point does this become unfair? Even if I were to say to him, I’m not sure how I feel, (which I did this past weekend – and it resulted in hours of him saying how things were good) I can tell he would stay with me. For the hope that it might change. I know I could stay with him for a bit longer an have fun but I really don’t want to hurt him. I do care about him, I think he’s great, and his family is wonderful but it’s not enough.

I wish it was.

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