Posts Tagged ‘trips’

I hate going back on my word. But sometimes it has to happen.

This year after Christmas my family originally planned that My Mom, my younger sister, myself, my Aunt, Uncle and two cousins would all go to St. Thomas together. As the time got closer the flights got more and more expensive and my Mom said she and my younger sister just couldn’t do it this year. And then my cousin invited her boyfriend which switched around the ability for that many of us to come anyway. (Because of how small the place was.)

Anyway, even with all of that I said I’d still go. I’d fork out the $1200 for the flight (insane) and go to be with some of my family and spend New Year’s there.

And then something incredible and out of nowhere happened.

A girl I work with and I happened across an opportunity to go to either Thailand, Patagonia or Tanzania for 7-10 days. The same days I would have gone to St. Thomas and asked if I’d be interested.

This isn’t just some trip. This would be the trip of a lifetime. An opportunity at a reduced-cost to hike, bike and travel through one of these countries. Everything in me says I need to take advantage of this adventure.

I told one of my cousins who said she was sad but completely understood. Then I told my other cousin (the one who invited her bf) today. She is livid.

It’s especially hard because if this was reversed I would be really sad she wasn’t coming, but I’d understand. It’s potentially a trip to AFRICA. I mean, how often does that opportunity come up?

I’m trying so hard to tell her that I would never give up spending the time with them unless it was something that I knew would be a once in a lifetime chance. But she’s so angry and right now she’s lashing out at me.

It feels unfair. I feel horrible for hurting her (and I said that) but it just feels like right now she doesn’t care about my thoughts or feelings on it at all. Even though I’m saying it clearly, she’s not caring that this year has been really hard, I miss B and the trips we took, my friends won’t travel right now, the idea of spending New Years with two couples does break my heart a little, getting the opportunity to explore another country, become better friends with my coworkers and meet new people in this way is actually a once in a lifetime chance. When will I ever be single, with vacation days and this type of cash to be able to do this again?

It just feels really shitty. I feel like I find myself in this position a lot with certain friends and family. It’s like when I chose to do something for myself, they get mad at me and there’s not mature reasoning that helps. And somehow I’m always the one left feeling like the bad selfish person.

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